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Raising Children – Importance of Nurturing Discipline
By Stella Mak

Have you seen parents screaming their heads off just to get their children to complete their school homework? Or shouting like an insane soul in pubic simply to get the child to behave? Is it really necessary for all parents to resort to such measures to teach their children to be disciplined or is there a more peaceful method? A simple and effective method can actually be found in the Montessori education. Maria Montessori observed that the first drawing of self-discipline comes through when children can develop an integration of self through their work. She has discovered that a child’s destructive behaviour can be curbed through working with materials in a prepared environment. This is what Montessori termed as the “normalization of the child”. The child seemed to have found a sense of peace as he works with the materials provided and a certain calmness will then overcome him, thus curbing his destructive behaviour.

Through her observations of children at work in the Montessori classrooms, she found that “the children worked spontaneously, that is, for the love of work itself”. (Maria Montessori: Her Life & Work, p.89) This probably further emphasizes her theory that children go through sensitive periods where their development takes place. As the children work, their five senses are utilized which assist them as they learn to piece the pieces of information together. She has also observed that children will repeat work numerous times and without fatigue in order to achieve the necessary skill. Since they are interested and are fully focused on the task at hand, they learn to be self-disciplined. In fact, as they are fully occupied, they do not need the teacher in class to remind them to keep quiet.

According to Dr Montessori, a child’s work is different from an adult’s work. The child needs to work in order to grow as he tries to find out about the environment that he is living in while the adult works with the objective of completing a task at hand. Such works can help a child to develop his self-concept as he practices on the necessary skills through the repeated work. An adult will not need to repeat a task numerous times as the skill has already been attained but the child will repeat the work many times in order to perfect the act. The child needs to work in order to make use of the environment to improve themselves as he interacts with what is around him so as to absorb the impressions for his physic development. As the child works on a specific task numerous times, he is also practicing his ability to concentrate, thereby allowing his self-discipline to develop.

Maria Montessori believed that the child’s power of attention will be developed through his working with materials in activities because it helps in his ability to concentrate and thereby building up his personality. With developed concentration, the child will be calmer and more controlled, which probably explains why a destructive child could be ‘normalized’ after he is actively involved in some meaningful activities. This could also be due to the fact that a child will come to a stage when he will be very interested in something and will want to manipulate it. It is probably what Montessori terms as the child’s sensitive periods when he will desire to learn something. In fact, Montessori believed that “if children do not reveal a desire to work spontaneously, the fault lies not in the children but in the manner of presenting the subjects to be studied”. (Maria Montessori: Her Life & Work, p.90) Thus, she strongly believed that it is of utmost importance that the teacher understands the different needs of the pupils so as to captivate the attention of the child and to cater to that needs because “if children are bored, inattentive and uncomprehending, it is because the methods of teaching used present insuperable barriers to the ’spontaneous’ functioning of the child’s mind”. (Maria Montessori: Her Life & Work, p.90)

In order for the child to learn to be self-discipline, another factor that is just as important as the appropriate selection of materials for the child is that the child must be guided to attain independence. Montessori believed that the child must be given the opportunity to work with materials in the environment. This is important as children learn best through the use of their five senses, so they need to manipulate things. It is useless to give a child a senseless toy which moves on its own and does not allow the child to interact with it except to watch it. The child will not learn anything. Therefore, it is important that parents select their toys for the children properly, with the objectives of learning skills in mind.

Another factor is that the child must be assisted to develop his will. The child can be allowed to choose which activity he wishes to work on. Since he has chosen the activity, he will have the interest to concentrate on it and thus complete the whole task. This will help in the development of his self-discipline as Montessori believed that each child has a natural inner urge that will direct him towards purposeful activities such as repeating the activity in order to perfect the skill learnt. This repeated activity will assist the child to gain control over himself and the environment. Learning to make his own decisions on matters such as what he wishes to do helps him to accept responsibility for his own actions. The activity that he undertakes will help him to understand the limits of reality, thereby leading him to self-knowledge, self-possession and self-discipline. Self-discipline is a very important characteristic for the child to attain in order for him to develop attributes such as the power of attention and concentration and the independence to carry out work and creativity so as to facilitate learning.

In order for the child to be aided in developing self-discipline, he needs to be given constructive work. It is therefore the teacher’s or the main caregiver’s job to take the cues from the child as to what skills need to be developed and what activities will interest him at that moment. In a well-prepared environment where the materials for the activities are appropriately presented to him, he will be able to choose the activity which will most interest him and thus help him to focus on the job at hand. The child should not be presented with too many activities as that will confuse his mind and disrupt his development. Thus, it is important for the teacher or the caregiver to understand the child and be able to respond appropriately. As the child likes to manipulate things and learns best through play, the activity presented should be fun and captivating for the child. Only in this way will the child be able to develop his self-discipline as he actively involves himself in his chosen piece of work.

“Stella Mak is a qualified school teacher with over 18 years of teaching experience and a mother of two. She runs an informational website that provides informative and resourceful ebook purchase and educational, as well as parenting, tips. To take advantage of this useful knowledge and to grab the first special report that she is currently giving away free for a limited period only, make sure you check out Stella Mak’s website at http://www.eduknowledgeworld.com

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Are you facing problem with a lying child? I read an article about how to deal with lying children:

Seven Quick Steps to Dealing with a Lie

Discovering your child has lied can be quite distressing. Lies are often an additional layer of misbehavior (the child misbehaves, and then lies about it) and it’s this layer that often makes parents go ballistic. (“I’m furious that you stole my silver coin collection and bought candy with it, but the fact that you lied to me about it, too, well, I can’t stand it!”) If you’ve discovered a lie (“layered” or simple), try this:

• Focus on the misbehavior, not the lie your child used to cover it up.
• Breathe, run around the block, take 10, calm down. Take as long as you need to take in order to deal with the situation, not the lie, or the fact that your child wasn’t honest with you.
• Talk with your child. Let her know that you aware of the truth. (Be as calm and level-voiced as possible.)
• Talk about values, and let her know that you don’t value lying.
• Give her the benefit of the doubt (she may be caught in a compound lie).
• Once the situation she lied about is resolved, talk with her about the problems lying can cause. Knowledge (and your obvious disapproval) will help her avoid lying in the future.
• If you don’t want a child who lies, don’t label her a liar. Kids tend to internalize the labels we give them.

Source: http://life.familyeducation.com/

Did you know . . .

Health insurance helps parents know that their child will get the medical care they need—when they need it—no matter what the cost!

A great deal of public attention has been given to the gains in children’s health insurance coverage made in recent years. But while public program expansions have driven a significant increase in the number of children who are insured, more than 9 million still lack health insurance—that’s one out of every eight children.

Children who have health insurance generally have better health throughout their childhood and into their teens. They are more likely to: