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END THE BEDTIME BLUES
Parents don’t need to force kids to go to sleep

By Jim Fay

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The challenges of adolescence can be harder for parents to deal with than for their kids.

Bedtime is a time of frustration for many parents. They wish it could be a magical time to reconnect with children and share fond memories. Here are some easy ways to make those dreams come true:

Bedroom Time vs. Bedtime
The journey to bedtime bliss starts with renaming bedtime. Kids need to think of this time as “bedroom time.” It’s a time for them to be in their rooms, but not necessarily with their eyes closed. Wise parents never try to control the uncontrollable. “You get in your bed and go to sleep, right now!” creates a power struggle over something parents cannot control. A skillful child can keep a parent engaged with this argument for hours.

Slowdown Time
Bedroom time is a journey in itself. It starts with “slowdown time.” A slowdown routine is essential. Children’s brains operate at a high pitch and don’t shut down as quickly as adult brains. Parents should announce the beginning of slowdown time about 40 minutes before bedroom time.

Slowdown time includes turning off stimulating activities such as television, exciting music, and family games. It also is a wonderful time to give kids choices:

• “Do you want to go to bed right now or in 10 minutes?”
• “Do you want to brush your teeth in the kitchen or the bathroom?”
• “Do you want a story first or your bath first?”
• “Do you want a drink in the kitchen or in your room?”
• “Do you want a piggy back ride or walk on your own?”
• “Do you want the light on or off?”
• “Do you want to get tucked in or do it yourself?”
• “Do you want to go to sleep right away or try to keep your eyes open as long as you can?”

There is magic in choices. They speak directly to the human need for control and can produce amazing results. Be sure to offer choices you like. Never give one choice you like and one you don’t.

The kids are given no more than 10 seconds to make their decisions. If it takes longer, make the decision for them. Kids become quick decision-makers when they know their parents will be making the decision for them if they don’t act quickly.

Some children like to negotiate in the face of choices. Resist the temptation to argue or reason at this time. Use Love and Logic® arguing neutralizers, such as “I love you too much to argue about that, maybe you’ll like tomorrow’s choices better.” Repeat this phrase as often as necessary without sarcasm or anger.

Remember there is nothing more contagious than a yawn. Experiment with yawning and acting sleepy during story time. It’s great fun to watch the drooping eyelids.

Parent Time
Once the kids are in their room, that’s where they stay. Announce that “kid’s time” is over and it is now “parent’s time.” Stick to your guns on this.

Kids have been known to resort to, “It’s scary in here. There’s monsters in my room.”

Just remember kids take their emotional cues from their parents. The best solution is to respond in a firm, yet loving way: “Well, sweetie, my advice is to make friends with them. See you in the morning. I love you!”

Give these Love and Logic® tips a try, and join thousands of parents who enjoy peaceful evenings with their kids!

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Jim Fay is president and cofounder of The Love and Logic® Institute in Golden, Colo., and coauthor of the book, Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless. For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 1-800-LUV-LOGIC or visit www.loveandlogic.com www.loveandlogic.com

Top Reasons why kids refuse to sleep

Oddly enough, children this age don’t turn their nose up at napping because they suddenly need less rest — changing sleep patterns are the real culprit. “A baby’s urge to sleep builds up faster than a toddler’s or preschooler’s, so a baby gets tired earlier in the day,” says Dr. Owens.

By the toddler years, a child’s urge to sleep earlier in the day weakens, allowing him to stay awake longer. Consequently, your child’s need to nap may come and go as his body adjusts to a more adultlike sleep pattern. But biology isn’t totally to blame here — there are a few temporary factors that trigger naptime battles.

Growing independence. Toddlers love to be in control, so it’s no surprise that they’ll refuse to sleep on your command. Plus, kids this age are so active and curious that they hate the idea of taking a snooze break (”What if I miss something exciting?”).

Scheduling conflicts. The naptime at your toddler’s daycare or preschool may not coincide with the hour your child typically gets tired. If he’s at home, his ideal naptime may conflict with a sibling’s schedule or your daily routine.

Lack of sleep. It’s hard to believe, but overtired kids may have trouble falling asleep. That’s because when toddlers get tired, they often become irritable and hyperactive, says Dr. Owens.

A major change. Any stressful event — moving to a new house or switching to a big-kid bed, for example — may make your child feel too anxious to doze off easily.

No matter what’s got your toddler’s nap schedule out of whack, your main concern is to ensure that he gets enough sleep in a 24-hour period, says John Herman, PhD, professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at UT Southwestern Medical Center, in Dallas. When he logs those hours is less important. In fact, many toddlers who stop napping during the day will compensate by sleeping longer at night anyway.

Unfortunately, it can be tricky to figure out how many hours of sleep your toddler needs, since the answer depends entirely on your child. “Studies show that at age 3, for example, kids need anywhere from 10 1/2 to 15 hours of sleep,” says Dr. Owens. “The average is around 12 hours, but some kids need more and some need less.” Your child’s behavior is your best clue: If she wakes up spontaneously in the morning and is generally in a good mood, she’s probably getting plenty of zzz’s.

 Make Naps a Snap

For the next couple of years, while your child phases out his naps, you should still give him the opportunity to rest. Try these strategies.

Don’t call it a nap — call it quiet time or rest time. That way, your toddler won’t feel like he’s being forced to sleep when he thinks he isn’t tired. Tell him he has to stay in bed (or in his room) for a certain amount of time and do a quiet activity, such as coloring or looking at books. Even if he doesn’t fall asleep, you’ll both benefit from the break.

Set a soothing scene. Plan relaxing activities just before naptime to help your child wind down. Try to follow a routine that’s similar to her bedtime rituals: Read a book (see “Soothing Stories for Anti-Nappers”), tuck her in with her favorite stuffed animal, or put on soft music.

Respect his schedule. Resist the urge to plan your toddler’s nap around your errands. Instead, watch your child for signs of sleepiness. If he doesn’t seem tired at his current naptime, consider switching it to a later hour. Just don’t make it too late — if you let your child sleep past 3 or 4 p.m., you may be in for a big bedtime battle.

Offer a choice. Your reluctant napper may be more agreeable if you give her some control over when she snoozes. When I ask my daughter the right question — “Would you like to nap now or in five minutes?” — she’s less likely to start a power struggle.

The Upside of Downtime

Don’t underestimate the importance of sleep: Research shows that children who don’t log enough zzz’s in a 24-hour period often struggle in these areas.

Learning. Sleep helps kids convert recent experiences into long-term memories. Tired kids may also have decreased verbal skills, attention troubles, and poor abstract reasoning.

Mood. You’ve probably seen the evidence for yourself: Poor sleep often leads to irritability, hyperactivity, aggressiveness, and impulsive behavior.

Health. Researchers suspect that inadequate sleep is linked to everything from decreased immunity to an increase in accidental injuries.

Source: http://www.health-women.info/family-health/top-reasons-why-kids-refuse-to-sleep.html

Baby Sleep Problems – Night Terrors

Night terrors or Pavor nocturnus occur approximately 90 minutes into sleep during stage 3 or 4 NREM (Non-Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. Night terrors happen during deep sleep (usually between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m.). The child suddenly sits bolt upright and screams, and is inconsolable for up to 30 minutes before relaxing and falling back to sleep. A night terror is a parasomnia sleep disorder characterized by extreme terror and a temporary inability to regain full consciousness. The child wakes abruptly usually accompanied by gasping and moaning. The child may be sweating and breathing very hard. Night terrors usually occur in children three to eight years of age. Night terrors seem to peak at age 3 ½ years.

Night terrors can be frightening for the parents, too. Episodes may re-occur for a couple of weeks then suddenly disappear. Strong evidence has shown that a predisposition to night terrors and other parasomniac disorders can be passed genetically. Though there are a multitude of triggers, emotional stress during the previous day and a high fever are thought to precipitate most episodes of this type of baby sleep problem.

Night terrors are different in nature from nightmares. Children can be aroused during a nightmare, but not during a night terror. With a night terror episode your child may have no memory of the event and remember all the events of a nightmare. Male children have predominance when it comes to having sleeping terrors, as for nightmares either gender can experience them. If a nightmare occurs during the child’s sleep cycle REM (Rapid Eye Movement) will be present, on the other hand, during a night terror NREM (Non-Rapid Eye Movement) will be present. The only similarities of a nightmare and a night terror are that fact they both can be brought on by stress. An estimated 1-6% of children experience night terrors. Children of all races are affected, equally. This parasomniac disorder usually resolves during adolescence.

Sleep labs across the United States and Canada have shown through sleep studies that night terrors happen due to increased brain activity. The common thought among researchers is that a chemical trigger in the brain causes your brain to “misfire” and cause a night terror. These misfires can be caused by many factors such as stress and various other medical ailments. Try to eliminate the stress factors causing this baby sleep problem.

Children should be reassured and calmed after experiencing a night terror. Let them regain consciousness and give them positive reinforcement in a calming manner. It is not advised to shake them wake, but talk sweetly and softly while telling them “You are here” or “I love you”, then slowly administer gentle touches and back rubs. Once your child had regain consciousness, plenty of hugs and kisses are in order. To get them back to sleep, you will probably have to restart their normal bedtime routine. Softy, read to your child and place their favorite teddy bear in their arms. Or, watch a children’s program with your child until they fall back to sleep.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Luke_Dyer

Is your child getting enough sleep? How can you tell and what can you do about it?

The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) released a survey which estimated that one-third of toddlers and preschoolers and nearly one in four school aged children aren’t getting enough sleep.

The consequences for lack of sleep are hardly unknown to parents who have themselves been victims of sleepless nights during the early childhood years. But what are the specific problems that affect children who are lacking sleep?

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Here are more practical tips for naps

• Pajamas aren’t necessary, but make sure your child is dressed in comfortable clothing that’s neither too light nor too heavy.

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When your baby’s 3 to 4 months old, you can work on developing a nap schedule that’s compatible with his natural sleep cycles.

Read the signs

Pay attention to your baby’s sleep signals. Does he begin to rub his eyes and get fussy midmorning or right after lunch? Does he often fall asleep in the car in the early afternoon? Do you notice a difference in his alertness and overall mood when he sleeps for longer or shorter periods?

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Sleep is vital for babies and young children, whose brains and bodies are developing at an extraordinary rate — but nighttime rest isn’t enough. Regular naps help them get the sleep they need.

Do your best to encourage your baby to nap consistently. But keep in mind that his temperament and natural bodily rhythms will help determine how and when he naps. Some babies nap for long stretches every day right from the start and settle easily into a pattern. Others do just fine taking shorter naps or napping at less regular times.

How many naps a day should my baby take?

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Baby Sleep Problems – What Effect Does Feeding Have?

New Mums and Dads and even parents with several kids, often find that their little baby may not be sleeping as well as he or she should.

Many parents look for the underlying cause of the problem, hoping to find a simple answer. This also leaves some parents questioning if feeding could have something to do with the problem.

The intent of this article is to investigate further into the different aspects of feeding your small baby and examine the effects that feeding could perhaps have on a baby’s sleeping routine and habits.

First, we should list the particular feeding areas that we will be discussing. These are:

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