Cookbook author and food god Craig Claiborne opined, “I cannot estimate how many meals are spoiled by fractious, overtired children aching to be home, and their parents are doing no one a favor by permitting such disruptive behavior.” I’d guess most folks agree with Mr. Claiborne, judging by the stink eye many waiters and fellow diners show parents eating with kids. It’s a shame, really. True, a restaurant is not a playground, but it’s not a church either. Some parents won’t go near a restaurant with their children in tow, for fear of being ostracized. It’s not like this in many other countries, where kids are welcomed to the table and where, not by accident, the food culture is strong. A few tips:

1.New parents, listen up: When your baby can’t talk or walk, put him or her in a sling and get thee to a restaurant as often as you wish. People will ooh and aah at your bravery–as well as at the baby.

2.Choose your restaurant wisely. Go on the early side and avoid weekends. Brunch was invented for families–alcohol for mom and dad, and pancakes with smiley faces for kids. Many top-notch places now have kids’ menus that go beyond the nugget, grilled cheese, and buttered-pasta triple threat.

31 of Bon Appétit’s Most Delicious Holiday Desserts

3.Introduce your kids to new flavors. Asian restaurants, especially Vietnamese, Chinese, and Thai ones, are often casual, full of big tables of families, and loud. Small-plate restaurants, like Spanish tapas places, allow easy sharing (and if things go south quickly, you can make an exit without having to cancel your entrée order).

4.Adults get toys (cell phones, PDAs) to play with at the table, so kids should, too–but keep handheld video games on mute.

5.Bring a small snack to tide your little one over immediately after you sit down. But if said snack ends up all over the floor, it’s your responsibility to clean it up–not the waitstaff’s.

It’s time for the baby’s bath. It’s been a busy day, and you have a lot on your mind. Your child loves playing in the warm water, but tonight it feels like just one more thing to do.

Is this a good time for a language lesson, even if you don’t feel like it? You bet. Talking with your child during everyday events like nappy changes and baths is a great way to help your child learn the sounds and words of language.

‘It’s time to wash your hair now. Should we use the cup to pour the water? Lean your head back a little so the soap doesn’t get in your eyes. Let’s dip the washcloth in the water so we can clean your little nose. Do you have dirt under your fingernails? Let’s see if we can get it out …’

More is better

When it comes to teaching your child language, it’s how much you talk to her that counts the most. It may sound simple, but the best way to build children’s vocabularies during the critical first three years of life is to talk with them – a lot.

One study looked at the everyday talk between parents and children in 42 families. The results clearly showed that children’s vocabularies grew faster and they scored higher on IQ tests when their parents talked to them often.

Talking to children throughout the day helps in two ways. When parents talk more often, they use a wider range of words. Also, parents who talk a lot with their kids usually use longer and more complex sentences. This helps children learn what words mean, how grammar works, and how to talk about things in the past or the future. And when parents have ‘conversations’ with their young children, they create a foundation for good communication down the road.

Talking gap

All parents talk to their children. But the study found big differences in the types of conversations some families have. Researchers spent one hour a month with each family tape-recording the conversations between parents and children. The results were surprising:

• One group of parents spent an average of 40 minutes each hour interacting with their children, while another group spent about 15 minutes per hour.
• Some parents spoke more than 2000 words an hour on average to their kids compared with others who spoke around 600.
• One set of families responded to their children 250 times an hour on average, while another responded only 50 times.
• After three years, children from the most talkative families are exposed to nearly 30 million words, while those from the least talkative may have heard only 10 million (see figure 1).

Quantity is quality

In each family, all the children learned enough language to get through everyday experiences. And for the most part, the conversations were about similar things. Families talked about people, places, actions, feelings, objects, experiences and past and future events. They answered their children’s questions and responded to their actions. And they guided them with encouragements such as ‘that’s great, honey,’ and restrictions such as ‘don’t touch that’.

If the families seemed to talk about the same things, why were some children speaking and understanding more words at age three? It turns out that the more parents talked to their children, the better the conversations got in terms of variety and richness.

Take bath time as an example. The more you talk to your child, the more likely you are to use different and more creative nouns, verbs, and modifiers. Sentences will become more complex and longer. You’ll ask more questions. And there is a greater chance you will talk about things in the past and in the future. Conversations like these help build a child’s vocabulary.

‘Look at those little dirty hands. They got so dirty playing outside today! Do you remember digging in the dirt? We found a little worm that wiggled in your hand. I’ll bet next time we’ll find more worms and bugs. Oops – it looks like there’s some dirt in your hair too! Let’s wash your hair now …’

The study also found that talkative parents were much more likely to guide their children with positive feedback such as ‘good’ or ‘that’s right’. When parents were talking less, they were more likely to use negative feedback such as ‘stop that’ or ‘don’t’. The families that talked the most used an encouraging tone 70-80% of the time, while those that talked the least were more likely to scold or use a discouraging tone.

Big words, big boost

By the age of three, children from families that talked the most had an average vocabulary more than twice the size of children from families that talked the least (see figure 2).

Not only did they understand more, they were able to use language to talk about a broader range of subjects. Even six years later, children from talkative families outscored others on language tests and reading comprehension.

Talking tips

So what’s the key to talking more with your children? The researchers noticed some good strategies parents used when interacting with their children.

• Just talk: Use everyday events like folding laundry, changing nappies or doing the dishes. Talk enough to keep the child cooperative and engaged. This works well with younger children learning their first words.
• Listen: When children talk, even if it’s silly or hard to understand, use it as a chance to add information, encourage more talking, or to elaborate on what they said. ‘You’re talking about the little bird? Look at his pointy beak. What colour is his beak? He can fly high in the air.’
• Be nice: Kids need our guidance to learn what’s OK to do. When they do something they shouldn’t, suggest a better or right way to do it and avoid negative criticism. For example, a parent could say, ‘We write on paper, not on the walls’, instead of ‘Don’t do that!’
• Give choices: Whether trying to get a child to do something like pick up toys or teaching them to use a spoon or fork, choices are important. Give choices that are real. ‘Do you want to eat your peas or your rice first? Do you want the blue or the green cup?’
• Talk some more: It’s a big new world for kids, so help them by pointing out interesting things. ‘Look at the yellow bird in the sky! It reminds me of the story grandma told us about …’ Talking about things is a great way to remember past adventures and prepare them for new experiences.

Helpful parenting tips

• Talk. Engage your child all day long, asking questions, explaining things, and adding new ideas. Try to use full sentences and lots of different words.
• Use positive, affirming language to guide your child’s behaviour. ‘I like it when you hang up your coat!’ Use negative language sparingly.
• Read lots of stories. Read favourite books over and over. Try sharing books with friends, or bringing home new stories from the library.
• Talk to your child even if your child is not a talker. Some kids are naturally quiet. Talking to them will help them learn the language just the same.
• In a large family, pay special attention to younger ones to make sure they are getting the verbal attention they need.
• Grandma, grandpa, uncles, aunts, neighbours, siblings and babysitters – encourage all of those who love your children to talk with them as much as possible.

Children start the wonderful road of learning language from the day they are born. Parents who talk to their children throughout the day are giving them a gift. The language they learn will help them enjoy and understand the world around them, and it will prepare them for the challenges of life ahead.

Source: http://raisingchildren.net.au/

 

6 Ways to Stop Whinning

Source: http://parenting.ivillage.com/

Many parents have theorized that there’s a recessive gene that seems to be present in about 99 percent of young children: the whining gene.

If only DNA or some other scientific phenomenon could account for why so many of our kids resort to whining when they want something. And coming up with an effective coping strategy to pull the plug on whining can greatly improve your relationship with your child. On the other hand, coming up with the wrong one will only encourage more whining.

According to a recent survey of almost 1,650 parents conducted by Parent Soup, the best way to stop whining is to calmly explain to your kids why it’s not appropriate. More than 40 percent of respondents said children are most likely to obey if you are calm, but firm, with your explanation. Almost 30 percent of those quizzed said they simply ignore the whining and that their kids stop once they realize they aren’t eliciting a reaction. About 22 percent said their kids stop whining when they pretend not to understand what the child is saying.

Experts say parents must exercise caution when their children resort to whining. If you mock or ignore them, this might enrage them. It’s important to know WHY they are whining. If they feel it’s the only way to get your attention, it’s time to take stock of how much attention you’re giving your children. On the other hand, providing positive reinforcement by “caving” to their requests will only encourage them to whine more.

Here’s a selection of some of the best advice offered by members of the Parent Soup communities:

1. “I try to ignore whining, then I try to explain why (my son) shouldn’t whine, then I cajole, threaten, and finally … I WHINE!!!”

2. “My best advice: Let your ‘no’ mean no and your ‘yes’ mean yes. Giving in to whining just perpetuates the habit.”

3. “If my children whine, I make it clear that I did not understand what they have said (even if I have). They (soon) realize that they must speak in an acceptable way, i.e. moderate tone, (proper) enunciation. … When they speak in an appropriate way, they are acknowledged and addressed. When they whine, they are misunderstood and unanswered.”

4. “By whining, our children learn that we will then pay attention to them. … It’s not their tone of voice that we should be reinforcing. We really can avoid the problem with better listening skills and (hopefully they will no longer feel the need to indulge the) nasty whining habit.”

5. “My house is full of kids with a sense of humor. … If they whine, I whine right back. “But, Mooooom…,” they drag on. “But, daaarlings…,” I yodel. Usually they are sick of me first. Victory!”

6. “Did you notice the ‘What’s the best way to stop your child from whining?’ poll did not allow for any answer involving actually trying to find why the child is whining? Is it because the poller/s assumed a child is doing it only to annoy us grown-ups?”

Written by childcare expert and author Penelope Leach

Babies have an inbuilt interest in human voices and a natural tendency to listen and to concentrate when someone is talking. You can build on this as you did when your child was a baby.

How can I help my toddler learn to talk?
Talk as much and as often as you can directly to your toddler. Try to make some of these conversations just between you and him. If you are talking, or reading, to him and an older sibling, your toddler will not get as much repetition and explanation as he can use, and as much as he will get if he is alone with you. Look at him while you talk. Let him see your face and your gestures.

Let your toddler see what you mean, by matching what you do to what you say. “Off with your shirt,” you say, taking it off over his head; “Now your shoes”, removing them.

Let your toddler see what you feel by matching what you say with your facial expressions. This is no age for teasing (what age is?). If you give him a big hug while saying “Who’s mummy’s great horrible grubby monster then?” you will confuse him. Your face is saying “Who is mummy’s gorgeous boy?”

Help your child to understand your overall communication; it does not matter whether he understands your exact words or not. If you cook something, put plates on the table and then hold out your hand to him saying, “It’s lunch time now”. He will understand that his lunch is ready and will come to his high chair. He might not have understood the words “lunch time now” without those other cues to go with them. He will learn the meanings of the words themselves through understanding them, again and again, in helpful contexts.

Share enthusiasm, emotion and emphasis; whether you are talking about a flood of love for your toddler or a flock of rare birds in the sky, those are the speech qualities that will catch and hold his attention and motivate him to try and understand what you are saying.

How can I help my toddler to communicate?

Help your child to realise that all talk is communication. If you chat away to yourself without waiting for a response or looking as if you want one, or if you don’t bother to answer when he or another member of the family speaks to you, he is bound to feel that words are just meaningless sounds.

Don’t have talk as background noise. If you like to have the radio on all day, try to keep it to music unless you are actually listening. If you are listening, let him see that you are receiving meaningful communication from the voice he cannot see.

Act as your toddler’s interpreter. You will find it much easier to understand his language than strangers do and he will find it much easier to understand you and other “special” people than to understand strangers.

How can I teach my toddler about truth and lies?
Your child may learn new words and use them correctly, but he may miss the subtler meanings those words convey to adults. He cannot possibly understand the concept of a promise, for example. Yet he may well use the word. If you offer him five minutes more play if he promises to come straight to bed afterwards, he will happily say “promise”. However, the word is nothing but an agreement label. After those five minutes, he wants a further five. He cannot understand the reproach in your voice as you say, “but you promised.”

Words often make trouble over truth, too. Your toddler may talk fluently enough to issue accusations and denials long before their accuracy means anything to him. He talks as he feels. It might have been the dog that made that puddle: he wishes it had been and says that it was. During a quarrel with his sister, he falls and hurts his knee. He says that she pushed him — which she did not. But although she did not hurt his knee, she did hurt his feelings. He is telling a kind of feeling-truth which just happens to be different from adult truth.

As he grows, you will be able to demonstrate the value of promises thoughtfully made and reliably kept; of truth (usually) told, and lies (mostly) avoided. But it is too soon yet. Don’t corner him with concepts he cannot understand. He is doing his best to please, but if nothing less than child standards can please you, he will fail.

source: http://www.babycenter.com.au/

Playing can stimulate the children’s brain. Children learn how to fine their skills and figure out the world through play. Realizing this, many parents nowadays outfitted their house with expensive development toys. But actually this is not necessary. Just buy toys that are multi-functional and have numerous way to play, so they don’t easily get bored with the toys. Children will enjoy more if you play together with them.

If you are looking for toys, make sure you consider about the safety. Choose toys that most suitable for your children’s age. Neglecting about the safety can cause incidents such as choking hazards. Here are some tips to buy safe toys:

• Choose battery-powered toys instead of electrical toys to avoid electrical shocks or burns.
• Choose toys with sound less than 85 decibels. Toys that exceed 100 db can cause hearing damage. Toys labeled with “intended for outdoor use only” means they emit really loud sound.
• Avoid flying objects.
• Avoid sharp edges toys.
• Avoid too tiny parts. This make cause choking hazards.
• Avoid violent videos or games.
• Choose suitable toys for your children’s age.

Be sure you supervise your toddler when he is playing.

Visit www.educationaltoysplanet.com for safe and quality educational toys.

By Joan Franklin Smutny for Your Baby Today

A gifted child demonstrates unique and clever behavior long before a school acknowledges it. Though, parents-especially new parents with little experience-may not recognize the special talents of their child until a standardized test or a teacher evaluation identifies those talents. Some parents may suspect that something is different about their child, but they shy away from the subject. Parents are the best judges of their child’s abilities, particularly from infancy to seven years old; therefore, they should trust their instincts and act on them.

What do you look for in a potentially gifted toddler? A high level of curiosity is often the most immediate sign of giftedness, but you also should look for early development in three general areas:

• Motor skills (ability to execute large and small motor tasks with ease)
• Quantities (large vocabulary, long attention span, long and often complex sentences, fast absorption of knowledge)
• Comparisons (compared to other children: finds more ways to use toys and tools, an imaginative approach to activities, concocts creative solutions to problems, shows deeper understanding of questions and answers from adults)

Your toddler may be gifted if he or she:

• Sits through a reading of a long book and then asks hear it again
• Walks or talks early, and/or shows early interest in the alphabet
• Shows interest in and understands numbers and time concepts
• Completes puzzles intended for older children
• Compensates for handicaps-learns to adjust and function in spite of them
• Demonstrates strong sensitivity and response to music
• Remembers complex events and describes them vividly long after the fact
• Expresses an advanced sense of humor-recognizes incongruities as humorous
• Relays stories or narrates events clearly and creates a plausible ending to a story
• Absorbs songs and poems quickly and recites them accurately
• Expresses impatience with limitations (i.e., when the mind wants to perform tasks that the body can’t yet handle)
• Comprehends how things should fit in the scheme of things; stands firms is intolerant of something she perceives to be unfair
• Consistently organizes, sorts, arranges, and classifies things, and then assigns them all names
• Understands cause and effect, makes inferences, responds to directions, and multitasks earlier than others

To notice a toddler’s special talents — that is, before they attend school — is beneficial to their development. If they receive the support, guidance, and instruction that are appropriate to their skills, they’re more likely to reach their full potential. As a parent, you are your child’s first teacher-be observant and encouraging.

Source: parenthood.com

END THE BEDTIME BLUES
Parents don’t need to force kids to go to sleep

By Jim Fay

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The challenges of adolescence can be harder for parents to deal with than for their kids.

Bedtime is a time of frustration for many parents. They wish it could be a magical time to reconnect with children and share fond memories. Here are some easy ways to make those dreams come true:

Bedroom Time vs. Bedtime
The journey to bedtime bliss starts with renaming bedtime. Kids need to think of this time as “bedroom time.” It’s a time for them to be in their rooms, but not necessarily with their eyes closed. Wise parents never try to control the uncontrollable. “You get in your bed and go to sleep, right now!” creates a power struggle over something parents cannot control. A skillful child can keep a parent engaged with this argument for hours.

Slowdown Time
Bedroom time is a journey in itself. It starts with “slowdown time.” A slowdown routine is essential. Children’s brains operate at a high pitch and don’t shut down as quickly as adult brains. Parents should announce the beginning of slowdown time about 40 minutes before bedroom time.

Slowdown time includes turning off stimulating activities such as television, exciting music, and family games. It also is a wonderful time to give kids choices:

• “Do you want to go to bed right now or in 10 minutes?”
• “Do you want to brush your teeth in the kitchen or the bathroom?”
• “Do you want a story first or your bath first?”
• “Do you want a drink in the kitchen or in your room?”
• “Do you want a piggy back ride or walk on your own?”
• “Do you want the light on or off?”
• “Do you want to get tucked in or do it yourself?”
• “Do you want to go to sleep right away or try to keep your eyes open as long as you can?”

There is magic in choices. They speak directly to the human need for control and can produce amazing results. Be sure to offer choices you like. Never give one choice you like and one you don’t.

The kids are given no more than 10 seconds to make their decisions. If it takes longer, make the decision for them. Kids become quick decision-makers when they know their parents will be making the decision for them if they don’t act quickly.

Some children like to negotiate in the face of choices. Resist the temptation to argue or reason at this time. Use Love and Logic® arguing neutralizers, such as “I love you too much to argue about that, maybe you’ll like tomorrow’s choices better.” Repeat this phrase as often as necessary without sarcasm or anger.

Remember there is nothing more contagious than a yawn. Experiment with yawning and acting sleepy during story time. It’s great fun to watch the drooping eyelids.

Parent Time
Once the kids are in their room, that’s where they stay. Announce that “kid’s time” is over and it is now “parent’s time.” Stick to your guns on this.

Kids have been known to resort to, “It’s scary in here. There’s monsters in my room.”

Just remember kids take their emotional cues from their parents. The best solution is to respond in a firm, yet loving way: “Well, sweetie, my advice is to make friends with them. See you in the morning. I love you!”

Give these Love and Logic® tips a try, and join thousands of parents who enjoy peaceful evenings with their kids!

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Jim Fay is president and cofounder of The Love and Logic® Institute in Golden, Colo., and coauthor of the book, Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless. For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 1-800-LUV-LOGIC or visit www.loveandlogic.com www.loveandlogic.com

I read a good article from babycenter.com and want to share it here:

Simple ways to make your child feel special

With our busy lives full of errands, work, appointments, and social events, it can sometimes feel like we need to make grand gestures to let our kids know they’re loved and special.

But what makes your children feel special might surprise you. You don’t need to spend $10,000 on a birthday party or a deluxe trip to Disneyland. You don’t need to buy a Barbie Mustang or a tree house or let them have ice cream every night.

In fact, making your child feel special is very simple, according to Leigh Leverrier, a family life coach in the Washington, D.C., area, who says, “Children feel special when they are respected, noticed, listened to, and heard.”

This can be as straightforward as hearing “what your child says and mirroring back what you hear to acknowledge his or her thoughts,” Leverrier adds.

Doris Jeanette, a licensed psychologist in Philadelphia, says: “It’s not the activities, but the energy behind the activities that makes a child feel loved.”

In other words, making your child feel special is as simple as paying attention. Cuddling, play wrestling, and bragging about your kid works, too.

Here are some simple, inexpensive (or free!), and ultimately very meaningful ways to make your child feel special.

• Create little morning moments

“The morning sets the tone,” says Bob Lancer, author of Parenting With Love, Without Anger or Stress. “If there’s strife, rushing, or power struggles in the morning, you have a child who feels less important than other elements of the parent’s agenda.”

Instead of giving in to morning impatience, Vanessa Pizzinato of Ontario, Canada, takes a few minutes with her 5-year-old son every morning to gently walk her fingers over his legs and feet to wake him up. If that doesn’t work, then she takes his feet, puts one up to her ear and the other in front of her mouth, and talks to his tummy and head “to find out when they think he will wake up.”

Cara Mirabella, who runs TheHouseholdHelper.com, spends a little quality time each morning with her 2-year-old son by having coffee together. (His “coffee” is milk.) “We watch Sesame Street, the two of us cuddling on the couch, enjoying our coffee,” she says.

After taking five minutes for yourself “to enjoy the quiet of the morning before the stampede begins,” says Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand in Hand Parenting, spend ten minutes with your child before anybody has to rush anywhere.

“First thing in the morning can be a wonderfully effective time to connect with children, especially when they’re going to school and won’t get to see you all day,” she says.

The other 8 ways are:

• Snuggle and cuddle
• Make up special stories
• Ask for help
• Break the rules
• Have fun at bedtime
• Get silly
• Use your words
• And just pay attention to the little things

You can read full post here.

I found a good article about how to teach kids about money.

15 Ways to Teach Kids About Money

by Paul Richard

Introducing Kids to Money
Money gives people — both young and old — decision-making opportunities. Educating, motivating, and empowering children to become regular savers and investors will enable them to keep more of the money they earn and do more with the money they spend. Everyday spending decisions can have a far more negative impact on children’s financial futures than any investment decisions they may ever make. Here are 15 simple ways to help educate children about personal finance and managing money:

1. As soon as children can count, introduce them to money. Take an active role in providing them with information. Observation and repetition are two important ways children learn.
2. Communicate with children as they grow about your values concerning money — how to save it, how to make it grow, and most importantly, how to spend it wisely.
3. Help children learn the differences between needs, wants, and wishes. This will prepare them for making good spending decisions in the future.
4. Setting goals is fundamental to learning the value of money and saving. Young or old, people rarely reach goals they haven’t set. Nearly every toy or other item children ask their parents to buy them can become the object of a goal-setting session. Such goal-setting helps children learn to become responsible for themselves.
5. Introduce children to the value of saving versus spending. Explain and demonstrate the concept of earning interest income on savings. Consider paying interest on money children save at home; children can help calculate the interest and see how fast money accumulates through the power of compound interest. Later on, they also will realize that the quickest way to a good credit rating is a history of regular, successful savings. Some parents even offer to match what children save on their own.

You can read the other tips here.

Whining is a habit your child developed over time, and it will take a little time to break it. But, don’t despair; you can stop your child’s whining habit. Here’s how.

1. Notice when she whines and choose your response. Changing the pattern of whining begins when you change how you respond to it.
2. When you notice her whining, call her attention to it. Whining has become an unconscious habit by the time she reaches elementary school. She needs to learn to recognize it first. Some strategies you can try are:
   • Purposeful ignoring. You can even say “I’m ignoring you when you use your whiny voice. Try again in your normal voice and I’ll pay attention.”
   • Whine back. Use a bit of humor to cue her to notice her whining by showing what a whiny voice sounds like.
   • Stop her immediately when she whines and say, “Do you hear that you are whining? Tell me the same thing in your normal voice.”
3. Tone of voice is the hallmark of whining, but the child’s reaction to being told ‘no’ is another component of whining. She needs to learn a new habit to replace whining, so help her learn the right approach to asking for what she wants. Asking politely is an important social skill that you can teach directly. To teach a child to accept ‘no’ for an answer can be more of a challenge. I like the approach from Common-Sense Parenting. Teach your child to:
   • Stop and look at Mom or Dad
   • Say “OK”
   • Stay calm. Do not argue or whine.
   • If you disagree, discuss it later, calmly and in private.
4. Reinforce non-whining. Focus on the problem for 2-3 months, and thereafter if the habit creeps back. Notice when she asks politely and when she accepts ‘no’ for an answer without whining. Praise and reward her to reinforce the new learning. When she does whine, pause, look at her, and call attention to the whining if necessary. Help her think through what she should say and how to practice the new learning. Watch your own whining too, so that social learning doesn’t overcome your efforts to break your child’s whining habit.

Source: http://childparenting.about.com/