6 Ways to Stop Whinning

Source: http://parenting.ivillage.com/

Many parents have theorized that there’s a recessive gene that seems to be present in about 99 percent of young children: the whining gene.

If only DNA or some other scientific phenomenon could account for why so many of our kids resort to whining when they want something. And coming up with an effective coping strategy to pull the plug on whining can greatly improve your relationship with your child. On the other hand, coming up with the wrong one will only encourage more whining.

According to a recent survey of almost 1,650 parents conducted by Parent Soup, the best way to stop whining is to calmly explain to your kids why it’s not appropriate. More than 40 percent of respondents said children are most likely to obey if you are calm, but firm, with your explanation. Almost 30 percent of those quizzed said they simply ignore the whining and that their kids stop once they realize they aren’t eliciting a reaction. About 22 percent said their kids stop whining when they pretend not to understand what the child is saying.

Experts say parents must exercise caution when their children resort to whining. If you mock or ignore them, this might enrage them. It’s important to know WHY they are whining. If they feel it’s the only way to get your attention, it’s time to take stock of how much attention you’re giving your children. On the other hand, providing positive reinforcement by “caving” to their requests will only encourage them to whine more.

Here’s a selection of some of the best advice offered by members of the Parent Soup communities:

1. “I try to ignore whining, then I try to explain why (my son) shouldn’t whine, then I cajole, threaten, and finally … I WHINE!!!”

2. “My best advice: Let your ‘no’ mean no and your ‘yes’ mean yes. Giving in to whining just perpetuates the habit.”

3. “If my children whine, I make it clear that I did not understand what they have said (even if I have). They (soon) realize that they must speak in an acceptable way, i.e. moderate tone, (proper) enunciation. … When they speak in an appropriate way, they are acknowledged and addressed. When they whine, they are misunderstood and unanswered.”

4. “By whining, our children learn that we will then pay attention to them. … It’s not their tone of voice that we should be reinforcing. We really can avoid the problem with better listening skills and (hopefully they will no longer feel the need to indulge the) nasty whining habit.”

5. “My house is full of kids with a sense of humor. … If they whine, I whine right back. “But, Mooooom…,” they drag on. “But, daaarlings…,” I yodel. Usually they are sick of me first. Victory!”

6. “Did you notice the ‘What’s the best way to stop your child from whining?’ poll did not allow for any answer involving actually trying to find why the child is whining? Is it because the poller/s assumed a child is doing it only to annoy us grown-ups?”

END THE BEDTIME BLUES
Parents don’t need to force kids to go to sleep

By Jim Fay

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The challenges of adolescence can be harder for parents to deal with than for their kids.

Bedtime is a time of frustration for many parents. They wish it could be a magical time to reconnect with children and share fond memories. Here are some easy ways to make those dreams come true:

Bedroom Time vs. Bedtime
The journey to bedtime bliss starts with renaming bedtime. Kids need to think of this time as “bedroom time.” It’s a time for them to be in their rooms, but not necessarily with their eyes closed. Wise parents never try to control the uncontrollable. “You get in your bed and go to sleep, right now!” creates a power struggle over something parents cannot control. A skillful child can keep a parent engaged with this argument for hours.

Slowdown Time
Bedroom time is a journey in itself. It starts with “slowdown time.” A slowdown routine is essential. Children’s brains operate at a high pitch and don’t shut down as quickly as adult brains. Parents should announce the beginning of slowdown time about 40 minutes before bedroom time.

Slowdown time includes turning off stimulating activities such as television, exciting music, and family games. It also is a wonderful time to give kids choices:

• “Do you want to go to bed right now or in 10 minutes?”
• “Do you want to brush your teeth in the kitchen or the bathroom?”
• “Do you want a story first or your bath first?”
• “Do you want a drink in the kitchen or in your room?”
• “Do you want a piggy back ride or walk on your own?”
• “Do you want the light on or off?”
• “Do you want to get tucked in or do it yourself?”
• “Do you want to go to sleep right away or try to keep your eyes open as long as you can?”

There is magic in choices. They speak directly to the human need for control and can produce amazing results. Be sure to offer choices you like. Never give one choice you like and one you don’t.

The kids are given no more than 10 seconds to make their decisions. If it takes longer, make the decision for them. Kids become quick decision-makers when they know their parents will be making the decision for them if they don’t act quickly.

Some children like to negotiate in the face of choices. Resist the temptation to argue or reason at this time. Use Love and Logic® arguing neutralizers, such as “I love you too much to argue about that, maybe you’ll like tomorrow’s choices better.” Repeat this phrase as often as necessary without sarcasm or anger.

Remember there is nothing more contagious than a yawn. Experiment with yawning and acting sleepy during story time. It’s great fun to watch the drooping eyelids.

Parent Time
Once the kids are in their room, that’s where they stay. Announce that “kid’s time” is over and it is now “parent’s time.” Stick to your guns on this.

Kids have been known to resort to, “It’s scary in here. There’s monsters in my room.”

Just remember kids take their emotional cues from their parents. The best solution is to respond in a firm, yet loving way: “Well, sweetie, my advice is to make friends with them. See you in the morning. I love you!”

Give these Love and Logic® tips a try, and join thousands of parents who enjoy peaceful evenings with their kids!

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Jim Fay is president and cofounder of The Love and Logic® Institute in Golden, Colo., and coauthor of the book, Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless. For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 1-800-LUV-LOGIC or visit www.loveandlogic.com www.loveandlogic.com

SCHOOL SUCCESS STARTS EARLY
Expert says getting kids to relate to their teachers is the best strategy

By Dr. Charles Fay

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In my work with kids and teachers over the years, I’ve witnessed the many benefits of healthy student–teacher relationships. Establishing a connection between your child and his or her teachers is key to success in school and throughout life.

Regardless of a child’s scholastic abilities, parents can show him or her how to get along with teachers. Before your kids start school, give them a powerful advantage over other children by teaching them the following practical, easy–to–learn skills:

Tip 1: Smile and say “hello” to your teacher everyday.

Kids who greet their teachers with a smile and a warm “hello” every morning usually have fewer problems with their teachers throughout the day. It is important, however, for parents to help their kids understand it is necessary to not overdo it. Try practicing with your child.

Tip 2: Pay attention to your teacher. While your teacher is talking, look him or her in the eyes, smile, and nod.

Love and Logic parents know that helping their child relate to teachers will increase the child’s interest in what is being taught. One parent I know had a daughter who experienced difficulty paying attention in class. After the parent suggested looking at the teacher, smiling, and nodding, she became more engaged in her learning and was better prepared to ask questions about the lessons.

Teachers enjoy working with children who are interested in learning. Students who are attentive and “encourage” their teachers during the lesson have an advantage over those who do not. In addition, these children will be more comfortable approaching a teacher with any concerns they may have.

Tip 3: Raise your hand periodically to ask a question about the lesson.

A child who asks questions shows the teacher he or she is paying attention to the lesson being taught.

Tip 4: Say “please” and “thank you.”

It is important for parents to model good manners. At the Love and Logic Institute, we’ve found that children learn much more from our actions than from our words. What we say in front of our kids is more important than what we say to them. For example, when your child is nearby, you might say to your spouse, “I sure do appreciate all of your help today around the house. Thank you so much.”

Kids who use these skills in school will have an advantage over kids who do not. These skills also will carry over to the workforce, which will give children an advantage over others throughout their professional lives.

One student I know suffered from significant learning problems. Many people thought he would not be successful in his professional life. Much to their surprise, however, he went on to have a wonderful career and did better than kids who were much “brighter,” because his parents taught and reinforced good relationship skills over and over again.

Don’t wait! Start using these Love and Logic techniques and join the thousands of parents who are raising successful, responsible kids.

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Dr. Charles Fay is a nationally known speaker, parent, and school psychologist with The Love and Logic Institute in Golden, Colo. His book Love and Logic Magic When Kids Leave You Speechless provides a host of helpful tips for teaching values, as well as handling other perplexing parenting issues. For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 1-800-LUV-LOGIC or visit www.loveandlogic.com

Raising Children – Importance of Nurturing Discipline
By Stella Mak

Have you seen parents screaming their heads off just to get their children to complete their school homework? Or shouting like an insane soul in pubic simply to get the child to behave? Is it really necessary for all parents to resort to such measures to teach their children to be disciplined or is there a more peaceful method? A simple and effective method can actually be found in the Montessori education. Maria Montessori observed that the first drawing of self-discipline comes through when children can develop an integration of self through their work. She has discovered that a child’s destructive behaviour can be curbed through working with materials in a prepared environment. This is what Montessori termed as the “normalization of the child”. The child seemed to have found a sense of peace as he works with the materials provided and a certain calmness will then overcome him, thus curbing his destructive behaviour.

Through her observations of children at work in the Montessori classrooms, she found that “the children worked spontaneously, that is, for the love of work itself”. (Maria Montessori: Her Life & Work, p.89) This probably further emphasizes her theory that children go through sensitive periods where their development takes place. As the children work, their five senses are utilized which assist them as they learn to piece the pieces of information together. She has also observed that children will repeat work numerous times and without fatigue in order to achieve the necessary skill. Since they are interested and are fully focused on the task at hand, they learn to be self-disciplined. In fact, as they are fully occupied, they do not need the teacher in class to remind them to keep quiet.

According to Dr Montessori, a child’s work is different from an adult’s work. The child needs to work in order to grow as he tries to find out about the environment that he is living in while the adult works with the objective of completing a task at hand. Such works can help a child to develop his self-concept as he practices on the necessary skills through the repeated work. An adult will not need to repeat a task numerous times as the skill has already been attained but the child will repeat the work many times in order to perfect the act. The child needs to work in order to make use of the environment to improve themselves as he interacts with what is around him so as to absorb the impressions for his physic development. As the child works on a specific task numerous times, he is also practicing his ability to concentrate, thereby allowing his self-discipline to develop.

Maria Montessori believed that the child’s power of attention will be developed through his working with materials in activities because it helps in his ability to concentrate and thereby building up his personality. With developed concentration, the child will be calmer and more controlled, which probably explains why a destructive child could be ‘normalized’ after he is actively involved in some meaningful activities. This could also be due to the fact that a child will come to a stage when he will be very interested in something and will want to manipulate it. It is probably what Montessori terms as the child’s sensitive periods when he will desire to learn something. In fact, Montessori believed that “if children do not reveal a desire to work spontaneously, the fault lies not in the children but in the manner of presenting the subjects to be studied”. (Maria Montessori: Her Life & Work, p.90) Thus, she strongly believed that it is of utmost importance that the teacher understands the different needs of the pupils so as to captivate the attention of the child and to cater to that needs because “if children are bored, inattentive and uncomprehending, it is because the methods of teaching used present insuperable barriers to the ’spontaneous’ functioning of the child’s mind”. (Maria Montessori: Her Life & Work, p.90)

In order for the child to learn to be self-discipline, another factor that is just as important as the appropriate selection of materials for the child is that the child must be guided to attain independence. Montessori believed that the child must be given the opportunity to work with materials in the environment. This is important as children learn best through the use of their five senses, so they need to manipulate things. It is useless to give a child a senseless toy which moves on its own and does not allow the child to interact with it except to watch it. The child will not learn anything. Therefore, it is important that parents select their toys for the children properly, with the objectives of learning skills in mind.

Another factor is that the child must be assisted to develop his will. The child can be allowed to choose which activity he wishes to work on. Since he has chosen the activity, he will have the interest to concentrate on it and thus complete the whole task. This will help in the development of his self-discipline as Montessori believed that each child has a natural inner urge that will direct him towards purposeful activities such as repeating the activity in order to perfect the skill learnt. This repeated activity will assist the child to gain control over himself and the environment. Learning to make his own decisions on matters such as what he wishes to do helps him to accept responsibility for his own actions. The activity that he undertakes will help him to understand the limits of reality, thereby leading him to self-knowledge, self-possession and self-discipline. Self-discipline is a very important characteristic for the child to attain in order for him to develop attributes such as the power of attention and concentration and the independence to carry out work and creativity so as to facilitate learning.

In order for the child to be aided in developing self-discipline, he needs to be given constructive work. It is therefore the teacher’s or the main caregiver’s job to take the cues from the child as to what skills need to be developed and what activities will interest him at that moment. In a well-prepared environment where the materials for the activities are appropriately presented to him, he will be able to choose the activity which will most interest him and thus help him to focus on the job at hand. The child should not be presented with too many activities as that will confuse his mind and disrupt his development. Thus, it is important for the teacher or the caregiver to understand the child and be able to respond appropriately. As the child likes to manipulate things and learns best through play, the activity presented should be fun and captivating for the child. Only in this way will the child be able to develop his self-discipline as he actively involves himself in his chosen piece of work.

“Stella Mak is a qualified school teacher with over 18 years of teaching experience and a mother of two. She runs an informational website that provides informative and resourceful ebook purchase and educational, as well as parenting, tips. To take advantage of this useful knowledge and to grab the first special report that she is currently giving away free for a limited period only, make sure you check out Stella Mak’s website at http://www.eduknowledgeworld.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stella_Mak
http://EzineArticles.com/?Raising-Children—Importance-of-Nurturing-Discipline&id=1417705

Are you facing problem with a lying child? I read an article about how to deal with lying children:

Seven Quick Steps to Dealing with a Lie

Discovering your child has lied can be quite distressing. Lies are often an additional layer of misbehavior (the child misbehaves, and then lies about it) and it’s this layer that often makes parents go ballistic. (“I’m furious that you stole my silver coin collection and bought candy with it, but the fact that you lied to me about it, too, well, I can’t stand it!”) If you’ve discovered a lie (“layered” or simple), try this:

• Focus on the misbehavior, not the lie your child used to cover it up.
• Breathe, run around the block, take 10, calm down. Take as long as you need to take in order to deal with the situation, not the lie, or the fact that your child wasn’t honest with you.
• Talk with your child. Let her know that you aware of the truth. (Be as calm and level-voiced as possible.)
• Talk about values, and let her know that you don’t value lying.
• Give her the benefit of the doubt (she may be caught in a compound lie).
• Once the situation she lied about is resolved, talk with her about the problems lying can cause. Knowledge (and your obvious disapproval) will help her avoid lying in the future.
• If you don’t want a child who lies, don’t label her a liar. Kids tend to internalize the labels we give them.

Source: http://life.familyeducation.com/

I found a good article about how to teach kids about money.

15 Ways to Teach Kids About Money

by Paul Richard

Introducing Kids to Money
Money gives people — both young and old — decision-making opportunities. Educating, motivating, and empowering children to become regular savers and investors will enable them to keep more of the money they earn and do more with the money they spend. Everyday spending decisions can have a far more negative impact on children’s financial futures than any investment decisions they may ever make. Here are 15 simple ways to help educate children about personal finance and managing money:

1. As soon as children can count, introduce them to money. Take an active role in providing them with information. Observation and repetition are two important ways children learn.
2. Communicate with children as they grow about your values concerning money — how to save it, how to make it grow, and most importantly, how to spend it wisely.
3. Help children learn the differences between needs, wants, and wishes. This will prepare them for making good spending decisions in the future.
4. Setting goals is fundamental to learning the value of money and saving. Young or old, people rarely reach goals they haven’t set. Nearly every toy or other item children ask their parents to buy them can become the object of a goal-setting session. Such goal-setting helps children learn to become responsible for themselves.
5. Introduce children to the value of saving versus spending. Explain and demonstrate the concept of earning interest income on savings. Consider paying interest on money children save at home; children can help calculate the interest and see how fast money accumulates through the power of compound interest. Later on, they also will realize that the quickest way to a good credit rating is a history of regular, successful savings. Some parents even offer to match what children save on their own.

You can read the other tips here.

Parents can be very good teachers as well apart from being very good guides and mentors. There are a number of good issues and topics that you can teach your child as a responsible parent. However, nothing could be as important as teaching your child good mannerisms and an exemplary sense of responsibility. Teaching responsibly to your kid means assisting to learn and understand the ways and methods by which your kid can interact with friends and strangers. It also involves displaying self respect and empathy towards others.

Mind you no kid in this world comes studded or equipped with very good behavior and mannerisms. Nor do any child takes his or her birth preprogrammed with character traits like willingness to share and distribute, respect the feelings of others, show respect towards authority and empathize with impoverished children. It is possible to teach considerate behavior and responsible mannerisms when your child is still young and tender; this will help your child to completely develop the behavior when she or he grows up and becomes adult.

The first lesson begins at your home and you are also the first teacher who is trying to transform your kid into a responsible citizen. Primary lessons start in the cozy ambience of your home and the first basic lesson is setting a good example on a daily and consistent basis. As a parent, you can perform this by:

• Exhibit a high level of mature behavior in how you deal with people, both close and strangers

• Exhibit a very high level of tolerance in reacting to a stressful and critical situation

• Show your kids how you can manage people with your ultra people friendly behavior, in what ways can you manage divergent opinions and handle conflicts and disagreements

You can exhibit a positive role by being responsible to yourself! When you are responsible and disciplined, it becomes very easy for you to help your kids learn how to think better, feel good and act in manner that is normal and responsible. Good behavior also involves pursuing a habit of considering other’s feelings and opinions. Responsibility and good mannerisms also include other character traits like accountability, fairness, compassion, integrity, honesty, self respect, courage and confession.

Responsible behavior is also a cultivated habit that evolves gradually over time. It is a result of your outlook in daily life and composed daily habits. You may wish to integrate and gel several beneficial aspects of responsible behavior in your kid’s daily life. The main goal of the program should focus on teaching and inculcating the good habit of respect and compassion (empathy) towards others, including strangers. Here are some of the most basic traits that should form foundation stones of the program:

• Honesty: Being truthful and realistic to our mind and conscience will help us become responsible and dedicated to our life.

• Courage: If your child is courageous and truthful, he or she can be extremely responsible in the future. This trait will help in taking good decisions based upon truth and evidence, not upon ulterior motives.

• Self Control and Self Discipline: These positive indicators will help your kid to act responsibly in preventing bad and inappropriate behavior. He or she will also learn to control anger and impatience.

• Self Respect and Pride: When your child is honest, truthful, and courageous and honest, she or he can start to respect themselves before respecting others. These are possibly the most cherished traits in your kids.

Compassion, kindness, empathy and respect towards others are the most desirable characters in your kid. These traits are not only necessary in life to perform better socially; your kid also needs them to empower to perform better both in personal and professional spheres. Gelled with establishing an excellent example and getting actively involved in your kid’s development and encouragement of social skills, spending quality time with kids and teach them about proper, right, correct and responsible behavior are some of the corrective actions that you can take as a parent, while streamlining your kid towards the road to responsibility.

More often, teaching your kid to be responsible is a long journey and a tedious process fraught with uncertainties and imponderables. As a parent, what you need from your side is 100% commitment and perseverance and the right and fitting ambience in your home. It is also a continuous process where both you and your kids are the active participants in the learning cycle.

Source: http://www.brainy-child.com/

 

Whining is a habit your child developed over time, and it will take a little time to break it. But, don’t despair; you can stop your child’s whining habit. Here’s how.

1. Notice when she whines and choose your response. Changing the pattern of whining begins when you change how you respond to it.
2. When you notice her whining, call her attention to it. Whining has become an unconscious habit by the time she reaches elementary school. She needs to learn to recognize it first. Some strategies you can try are:
   • Purposeful ignoring. You can even say “I’m ignoring you when you use your whiny voice. Try again in your normal voice and I’ll pay attention.”
   • Whine back. Use a bit of humor to cue her to notice her whining by showing what a whiny voice sounds like.
   • Stop her immediately when she whines and say, “Do you hear that you are whining? Tell me the same thing in your normal voice.”
3. Tone of voice is the hallmark of whining, but the child’s reaction to being told ‘no’ is another component of whining. She needs to learn a new habit to replace whining, so help her learn the right approach to asking for what she wants. Asking politely is an important social skill that you can teach directly. To teach a child to accept ‘no’ for an answer can be more of a challenge. I like the approach from Common-Sense Parenting. Teach your child to:
   • Stop and look at Mom or Dad
   • Say “OK”
   • Stay calm. Do not argue or whine.
   • If you disagree, discuss it later, calmly and in private.
4. Reinforce non-whining. Focus on the problem for 2-3 months, and thereafter if the habit creeps back. Notice when she asks politely and when she accepts ‘no’ for an answer without whining. Praise and reward her to reinforce the new learning. When she does whine, pause, look at her, and call attention to the whining if necessary. Help her think through what she should say and how to practice the new learning. Watch your own whining too, so that social learning doesn’t overcome your efforts to break your child’s whining habit.

Source: http://childparenting.about.com/

Hypertension in Children – Related to Poor Diet?
By Kristi Patrice Carter

Hypertension is chronic high blood pressure. In the past, this was a condition usually only seen in older adults. However, an increasing number of children are being diagnosed with hypertension. What is the cause of this alarming trend? According to the majority of leading researchers, the cause for this trend is diet.

Because more parents work outside of the home, more families consume prepared food on a daily basis. While these foods are easier, they are not better for you in terms of health. These foods can be filled with hidden calories, fat, sodium, and cholesterol. All of these contribute negatively to the health of a human heart. While it may take more time and effort, it may be in your child’s best interest to limits the amount of these foods your child consumes on a regular basis.

Children are also eating higher amounts of fast food than they have in the past. Decades ago, a trip to a fast food restaurant was an occasional treat for children. This is no longer the case. Many children eat at least five fast food meals a week, which has a significant impact on their health. These children are often obese, and recent studies indicate that these children develop chronic health conditions later on in life, such as diabetes and hypertension.

These foods are replacing healthy food choices like fresh fruits and vegetables in many homes. Instead of making processed snacks available to children, parents should encourage their children to snack on fruits and vegetables instead. Put healthy snacks on the shelves in the pantry and refrigerator that your children can reach. Place “sometimes” foods in places where your children cannot reach them. This may take some parental monitoring, but this change can be accomplished with a little bit of work and perseverance.

This problem is compounded by the fact that children spend more time in front of a television or computer screen than they have in the past. Instead of going outside to play and get exercise, children are becoming more sedentary. As a result, their health is suffering. Parents can help by sending their children outside to play every day and by limiting the amount of time children spend watching television or playing on the computer.

In conclusion, there are many steps you can take in order to maintain the health of your child. Your child may protest these changes at first, but you must stand firm. Your child will thank you later on in life for your efforts now.

Hypertension is a serious medical condition that affets children and adults. To earn more about hypertension and how to cure it with diet and exercise, please visit http://www.dashdiethypertension.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kristi_Patrice_Carter
http://EzineArticles.com/?Hypertension-in-Children—Related-to-Poor-Diet?&id=585398

Spanking isn’t necessarily something a parent consciously chooses. Most often, it happens when grownups lose their cool, get worked up or feel desperate. Dad may give little Tommy a whack because he’s already asked him three times to turn off the television. Or when four-year-old Johnny runs across the road, his mom may spank him and warn, “Don’t you ever, ever run into the street again.” All parents know how profoundly annoying it can be when their little one doesn’t listen to them. Fear has the same effect: “Oh my gosh, what if Johnny isn’t so lucky the next time he runs into the street?” The vast majority of parents have either felt the urge to spank, or have given their child a pat, whack or smack at one time or another.

In fact, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, spanking happens at least once a week in 25 percent of two-parent, middle-class families. Why do so many parents end up spanking their kids? You might assume it’s because spanking works. But, in fact, spanking works if, and only if, you look at the short-term. Three-year-old Lucy picked up her toys with lightening-fast speed after her mom gave her a swat on the behind. However, Lucy’s teachers need to keep a close eye on her in the playground because she tends to bully the younger kids. What does one have to do with the other?

A crucial 2002 study takes a look at how spanking affects kids. Psychologist Elizabeth Thompson Gershoff of Columbia University’s National Center for Children in Poverty analyzed 62 years of collected data, and found that the more often a child is spanked, the greater is the risk of childhood aggression and other antisocial behaviors such as lying, cheating and bullying. Children who are raised with spankings are less likely to learn right from wrong, and are more likely to misbehave behind their parent’s backs. One of the pro-spanking mothers in my practice conceded, “My son behaves if I spank him– but I don’t know if he’s behaving out of fear or because he’s learning to distinguish right from wrong.” Clearly, spanking changes a child.

So, what’s the alternative? The following strategies are grounded in the belief that a child deserves to be treated with respect, even when he’s acting up.

Top 10 Ways to Handle Discipline Dilemmas

1. Be firm and be kind.
A child is more likely to hear what you’re saying if you use a neutral tone.

2. Pause.
There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’m too angry to deal with this now. We’ll talk about it later.”

3. Teach your kids.
Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave. “I don’t like it when you leave your skateboard in the front hall. Next time, please put it in the mudroom. How can I help you remember?”

4. Be positive.
Instead of saying, “How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?” Say, “Go brush your teeth and let me know when you’ve finished so I can tuck you in.”

5. Give explanations, not threats.
By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she’s told, you give her a reason to behave.

6. Refuse to get angry.
Instead of focusing on your child’s misbehavior and working yourself into a lather, think of each conflict as an opportunity to guide and direct your child.

7. Give incentives.
Inspire your child to cooperate with phrases like, “It’s time to go. Why don’t you go down the slide one more time and then let’s hustle. I want to get home in time to make cookies.”

8. Be flexible.
If your little one asks, “Can I just finish watching this show before we go?” be reasonable. If you have the time to spare, make room for your child’s requests. This is a great way for kids to learn about the art of negotiation.

9. Drop out of power struggles.
Nothing is as frustrating or less productive as having a showdown with your little one. Invite your child to cooperate by saying something like, “I’ve got a problem. I want you to wear a clean shirt and you insist on wearing the same old one every day. How can we solve this problem?” Your child is more likely to cooperate if he comes up with the solution.

10. Be smart.
Parents will often deal with problems in a set manner, even if their approach isn’t helping. If what you’re doing isn’t working, find a more effective way to handle the problem. Tip: It’s much easier to change your approach than it is to change your child. Ask yourself, “What can I do differently that will inspire a better reaction from my child?”

TIP: Remember these three important rules about punishment:

• Don’t assign a punishment when you’re angry
• Don’t use punishment as revenge.
• A more severe punishment is not necessarily a better one

Source: http://parenting.ivillage.com