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How to avoid sibling conflicts

January 17, 2009 By: admin Category: Children's Behavior, Parenting Tips, Tween

Siblings can be the best of friends, and the worst of enemies, all within the same hour. Whether it stems from sibling rivalry, a stolen toy, or just a silly taunt, conflicts are bound to happen. If your children seem to be constantly bickering, take solace in the fact that this is common, and containable. From understanding the causes of conflicts to hints on coping with them, we’ve got great tips just waiting for you!

Causes of Sibling Conflicts

Sibling conflicts are a bit like the weather – we have no control over them, but we have to deal with the results anyway. As parents, it can sometimes seem that whenever we turn our backs the little ones are making each other cry. This may be the case, but remember that there are many reasons for it and you can’t be expected to control them all!

  • Children become bored easily, and fighting gives them something to do.
  • When they are hungry or tired, more things irritate children that lead them to conflict.
  • Siblings engage in competition and may create conflict if they feel that they are losing, whether at a game, a race, or for your attention.
  • Older siblings may not understand that younger siblings are not as mature as they are, and agitation and conflict can result.
  • Every child is self-centred. This is a natural state, and it means that children can only see the world from their point of view. Until they develop the ability to see the world from another angle, this will result in many perceived slights and rule out any ability to understand why others may act the way they do.
  • Children, like adults, will hold grudges. Often times new conflicts will result that seem insignificant, but are magnified by an old grudge.

Steps to Avoid Sibling Conflicts

Though a certain amount of sibling conflict will take place no matter what, there are steps parents can take to avoid frequent fighting. Eliminating sibling rivalry will help stop many sources of conflict.

  • Give each of your children special time to have the undivided attention of their parents.
  • Frequently show love and affection, with hugs and kisses, to each of your children.
  • Never compare your children’s abilities, development or preferences.
  • Avoid labelling your children, such as “the smart one” or “the patient one.”
  • Encourage your children to develop their own hobbies that are distinct from their siblings’.

Mediating and Resolving Sibling Conflicts

Even despite our best efforts, sibling conflicts are bound to occur. When they do, there are several ways that parents can help mediate and resolve them in a timely manner.

  • Discuss conflicts with your children when you are all calm. Refer to hypothetical conflicts that do not involve your children, and explain your feelings towards the resolution of conflictions through violence or force.
  • Explain your rules clearly and so that every child understands. It is unfair to hold children accountable for breaking rules that they were never told about.
  • Be a role model. Show your children how you expect them to resolve conflicts through your own behaviour.
  • Encourage manners among your children.
  • Remind children that “fair” is not always necessarily “equal.” For example, it is fair that older children are allowed to stay up later than their younger siblings.
  • Teach your children the concept of compromise, and expect them to compromise without you acting as a judge.
  • Help your child recognize their emotions. If they are able to verbalize that they are angry or sad, they will be able to discuss conflicts and think of compromises much more easily.
  • If your children are quarrelling and it looks as though it will become violent, separate them immediately.
  • When conflict does occur, do not inquire as to which child started it. Hold each child responsible for breaking your rules.

Remember, in a perfect world sibling conflicts would never rear their ugly heads. Here in the real world, sibling conflicts are common, and taking steps to avoid them and resolve them are much more important than simply ignoring them.

Source: http://www.growingkids.co.uk

Sleepwalking

December 18, 2008 By: admin Category: Children's Behavior, Kid's Health

Eleven-year-old Cait was trying to fall asleep when her 8-year-old brother, Doug, came into her room. He looked around a bit, but seemed really out of it.

Then Doug went back into the hallway and stood there staring up at the hall light.

Little brothers can be weird, but this was really strange. Cait didn’t know what to do. Just then, Cait’s father appeared and explained that Doug was sleepwalking.

What Is Sleepwalking?

Not all sleep is the same every night. We experience some deep, quiet sleep and some active sleep, which is when dreams happen. You might think sleepwalking would happen during active sleep, but a person isn’t physically active during active sleep. Sleepwalking usually happens in the first few hours of sleep in the stage called slow-wave or deep sleep.

Not all sleepwalkers actually walk. Some simply sit up or stand in bed or act like they’re awake (but dazed) when, in fact, they’re asleep! Most, however, do get up and move around for a few seconds or for as long as half an hour.

Sleepwalkers’ eyes are open, but they don’t see the same way they do when they’re awake and often think they’re in different rooms of the house or different places altogether. Sleepwalkers tend to go back to bed on their own and they won’t remember it in the morning.

Researchers estimate that up to 15% of kids sleepwalk regularly. Sleepwalking may run in families and sometimes occurs when a person is sick, has a fever, is not getting enough sleep, or is stressed.

Is Sleepwalking a Serious Problem?

If sleepwalking occurs frequently, every night or so, it’s a good idea for your mom or dad to take you to see your doctor. But occasional sleepwalking generally isn’t something to worry about, although it may look funny or even scary for the people who see a sleepwalker in action.

Although occasional sleepwalking isn’t a big deal, it’s important, of course, that the person is kept safe. Precautions should be taken so the person is less likely to fall down, run into something, or walk out the front door while sleepwalking.

What Will the Doctor Do?

There’s no cure for sleepwalking, but the doctor can talk to you about what’s happening and try to find ways to help you sleep more soundly. Most kids just grow out of sleepwalking.

For kids who sleepwalk often, doctors may recommend a treatment called scheduled awakening. This disrupts the sleep cycle enough to help stop sleepwalking. In rare cases, a doctor may prescribe medication to help someone sleep.

Here are some tips to help prevent sleepwalking:

  • Relax at bedtime by listening to soft music or relaxation tapes.
  • Have a regular sleep schedule and stick to it.
  • Keep noise and lights to a minimum while you’re trying to sleep.
  • Avoid drinking a lot in the evening and be sure to go to the bathroom before going to bed. (A full bladder can contribute to sleepwalking.)

How Do I Take Care of a Sleepwalker?

One thing you can do to help is to clear rooms and hallways of furniture or obstacles a sleepwalker might encounter during the night. If there are stairs or dangerous areas, a grown-up should close doors and windows or install safety gates.

You also might have heard that sleepwalkers can get confused and scared if you startle them into being awake. That’s true, so what do you do if you see someone sleepwalking? You should call for a grown-up who can gently steer the person back to bed. And once the sleepwalker is tucked back in bed, it’s time for you to get some shut-eye, too!

Source:

http://kidshealth.org/kid/stay_healthy/body/sleepwalking.html

How to stop whinning

November 20, 2008 By: admin Category: Child Discipline, Children's Behavior, Discovery Years, Parenting Tips, Toddler

 

6 Ways to Stop Whinning

Source: http://parenting.ivillage.com/


Many parents have theorized that there’s a recessive gene that seems to be present in about 99 percent of young children: the whining gene.

If only DNA or some other scientific phenomenon could account for why so many of our kids resort to whining when they want something. And coming up with an effective coping strategy to pull the plug on whining can greatly improve your relationship with your child. On the other hand, coming up with the wrong one will only encourage more whining.

According to a recent survey of almost 1,650 parents conducted by Parent Soup, the best way to stop whining is to calmly explain to your kids why it’s not appropriate. More than 40 percent of respondents said children are most likely to obey if you are calm, but firm, with your explanation. Almost 30 percent of those quizzed said they simply ignore the whining and that their kids stop once they realize they aren’t eliciting a reaction. About 22 percent said their kids stop whining when they pretend not to understand what the child is saying.

Experts say parents must exercise caution when their children resort to whining. If you mock or ignore them, this might enrage them. It’s important to know WHY they are whining. If they feel it’s the only way to get your attention, it’s time to take stock of how much attention you’re giving your children. On the other hand, providing positive reinforcement by “caving” to their requests will only encourage them to whine more.

Here’s a selection of some of the best advice offered by members of the Parent Soup communities:

1. “I try to ignore whining, then I try to explain why (my son) shouldn’t whine, then I cajole, threaten, and finally … I WHINE!!!”

2. “My best advice: Let your ‘no’ mean no and your ‘yes’ mean yes. Giving in to whining just perpetuates the habit.”

3. “If my children whine, I make it clear that I did not understand what they have said (even if I have). They (soon) realize that they must speak in an acceptable way, i.e. moderate tone, (proper) enunciation. … When they speak in an appropriate way, they are acknowledged and addressed. When they whine, they are misunderstood and unanswered.”

4. “By whining, our children learn that we will then pay attention to them. … It’s not their tone of voice that we should be reinforcing. We really can avoid the problem with better listening skills and (hopefully they will no longer feel the need to indulge the) nasty whining habit.”

5. “My house is full of kids with a sense of humor. … If they whine, I whine right back. “But, Mooooom…,” they drag on. “But, daaarlings…,” I yodel. Usually they are sick of me first. Victory!”

6. “Did you notice the ‘What’s the best way to stop your child from whining?’ poll did not allow for any answer involving actually trying to find why the child is whining? Is it because the poller/s assumed a child is doing it only to annoy us grown-ups?”

How to get my toddler to talk?

November 02, 2008 By: admin Category: Children's Behavior, Discovery Years, Education, Toddler

Written by childcare expert and author Penelope Leach

Babies have an inbuilt interest in human voices and a natural tendency to listen and to concentrate when someone is talking. You can build on this as you did when your child was a baby.

How can I help my toddler learn to talk?
Talk as much and as often as you can directly to your toddler. Try to make some of these conversations just between you and him. If you are talking, or reading, to him and an older sibling, your toddler will not get as much repetition and explanation as he can use, and as much as he will get if he is alone with you. Look at him while you talk. Let him see your face and your gestures.

Let your toddler see what you mean, by matching what you do to what you say. “Off with your shirt,” you say, taking it off over his head; “Now your shoes”, removing them.

Let your toddler see what you feel by matching what you say with your facial expressions. This is no age for teasing (what age is?). If you give him a big hug while saying “Who’s mummy’s great horrible grubby monster then?” you will confuse him. Your face is saying “Who is mummy’s gorgeous boy?”

Help your child to understand your overall communication; it does not matter whether he understands your exact words or not. If you cook something, put plates on the table and then hold out your hand to him saying, “It’s lunch time now”. He will understand that his lunch is ready and will come to his high chair. He might not have understood the words “lunch time now” without those other cues to go with them. He will learn the meanings of the words themselves through understanding them, again and again, in helpful contexts.

Share enthusiasm, emotion and emphasis; whether you are talking about a flood of love for your toddler or a flock of rare birds in the sky, those are the speech qualities that will catch and hold his attention and motivate him to try and understand what you are saying.

How can I help my toddler to communicate?

Help your child to realise that all talk is communication. If you chat away to yourself without waiting for a response or looking as if you want one, or if you don’t bother to answer when he or another member of the family speaks to you, he is bound to feel that words are just meaningless sounds.

Don’t have talk as background noise. If you like to have the radio on all day, try to keep it to music unless you are actually listening. If you are listening, let him see that you are receiving meaningful communication from the voice he cannot see.

Act as your toddler’s interpreter. You will find it much easier to understand his language than strangers do and he will find it much easier to understand you and other “special” people than to understand strangers.

How can I teach my toddler about truth and lies?
Your child may learn new words and use them correctly, but he may miss the subtler meanings those words convey to adults. He cannot possibly understand the concept of a promise, for example. Yet he may well use the word. If you offer him five minutes more play if he promises to come straight to bed afterwards, he will happily say “promise”. However, the word is nothing but an agreement label. After those five minutes, he wants a further five. He cannot understand the reproach in your voice as you say, “but you promised.”

Words often make trouble over truth, too. Your toddler may talk fluently enough to issue accusations and denials long before their accuracy means anything to him. He talks as he feels. It might have been the dog that made that puddle: he wishes it had been and says that it was. During a quarrel with his sister, he falls and hurts his knee. He says that she pushed him — which she did not. But although she did not hurt his knee, she did hurt his feelings. He is telling a kind of feeling-truth which just happens to be different from adult truth.

As he grows, you will be able to demonstrate the value of promises thoughtfully made and reliably kept; of truth (usually) told, and lies (mostly) avoided. But it is too soon yet. Don’t corner him with concepts he cannot understand. He is doing his best to please, but if nothing less than child standards can please you, he will fail.

source: http://www.babycenter.com.au/

Identifying Gifted Toddlers

October 02, 2008 By: admin Category: Children's Behavior, Discovery Years, Smart Child, Smart Kid, Toddler

By Joan Franklin Smutny for Your Baby Today

A gifted child demonstrates unique and clever behavior long before a school acknowledges it. Though, parents-especially new parents with little experience-may not recognize the special talents of their child until a standardized test or a teacher evaluation identifies those talents. Some parents may suspect that something is different about their child, but they shy away from the subject. Parents are the best judges of their child’s abilities, particularly from infancy to seven years old; therefore, they should trust their instincts and act on them.

What do you look for in a potentially gifted toddler? A high level of curiosity is often the most immediate sign of giftedness, but you also should look for early development in three general areas:

  • Motor skills (ability to execute large and small motor tasks with ease)
  • Quantities (large vocabulary, long attention span, long and often complex sentences, fast absorption of knowledge)
  • Comparisons (compared to other children: finds more ways to use toys and tools, an imaginative approach to activities, concocts creative solutions to problems, shows deeper understanding of questions and answers from adults)

Your toddler may be gifted if he or she:

  • Sits through a reading of a long book and then asks hear it again
  • Walks or talks early, and/or shows early interest in the alphabet
  • Shows interest in and understands numbers and time concepts
  • Completes puzzles intended for older children
  • Compensates for handicaps-learns to adjust and function in spite of them
  • Demonstrates strong sensitivity and response to music
  • Remembers complex events and describes them vividly long after the fact
  • Expresses an advanced sense of humor-recognizes incongruities as humorous
  • Relays stories or narrates events clearly and creates a plausible ending to a story
  • Absorbs songs and poems quickly and recites them accurately
  • Expresses impatience with limitations (i.e., when the mind wants to perform tasks that the body can’t yet handle)
  • Comprehends how things should fit in the scheme of things; stands firms is intolerant of something she perceives to be unfair
  • Consistently organizes, sorts, arranges, and classifies things, and then assigns them all names
  • Understands cause and effect, makes inferences, responds to directions, and multitasks earlier than others

To notice a toddler’s special talents — that is, before they attend school — is beneficial to their development. If they receive the support, guidance, and instruction that are appropriate to their skills, they’re more likely to reach their full potential. As a parent, you are your child’s first teacher-be observant and encouraging.

Source: parenthood.com

End The Bedtime Blues

September 19, 2008 By: admin Category: Baby Sleep, Child Discipline, Children's Behavior, Parenting Tips, Teen, Toddler

END THE BEDTIME BLUES
Parents don’t need to force kids to go to sleep

By Jim Fay


The challenges of adolescence can be harder for parents to deal with than for their kids.

Bedtime is a time of frustration for many parents. They wish it could be a magical time to reconnect with children and share fond memories. Here are some easy ways to make those dreams come true:

Bedroom Time vs. Bedtime
The journey to bedtime bliss starts with renaming bedtime. Kids need to think of this time as “bedroom time.” It’s a time for them to be in their rooms, but not necessarily with their eyes closed. Wise parents never try to control the uncontrollable. “You get in your bed and go to sleep, right now!” creates a power struggle over something parents cannot control. A skillful child can keep a parent engaged with this argument for hours.

Slowdown Time
Bedroom time is a journey in itself. It starts with “slowdown time.” A slowdown routine is essential. Children’s brains operate at a high pitch and don’t shut down as quickly as adult brains. Parents should announce the beginning of slowdown time about 40 minutes before bedroom time.

Slowdown time includes turning off stimulating activities such as television, exciting music, and family games. It also is a wonderful time to give kids choices:

  • “Do you want to go to bed right now or in 10 minutes?”
  • “Do you want to brush your teeth in the kitchen or the bathroom?”
  • “Do you want a story first or your bath first?”
  • “Do you want a drink in the kitchen or in your room?”
  • “Do you want a piggy back ride or walk on your own?”
  • “Do you want the light on or off?”
  • “Do you want to get tucked in or do it yourself?”
  • “Do you want to go to sleep right away or try to keep your eyes open as long as you can?”

There is magic in choices. They speak directly to the human need for control and can produce amazing results. Be sure to offer choices you like. Never give one choice you like and one you don’t.

The kids are given no more than 10 seconds to make their decisions. If it takes longer, make the decision for them. Kids become quick decision-makers when they know their parents will be making the decision for them if they don’t act quickly.

Some children like to negotiate in the face of choices. Resist the temptation to argue or reason at this time. Use Love and Logic® arguing neutralizers, such as “I love you too much to argue about that, maybe you’ll like tomorrow’s choices better.” Repeat this phrase as often as necessary without sarcasm or anger.

Remember there is nothing more contagious than a yawn. Experiment with yawning and acting sleepy during story time. It’s great fun to watch the drooping eyelids.

Parent Time
Once the kids are in their room, that’s where they stay. Announce that “kid’s time” is over and it is now “parent’s time.” Stick to your guns on this.

Kids have been known to resort to, “It’s scary in here. There’s monsters in my room.”

Just remember kids take their emotional cues from their parents. The best solution is to respond in a firm, yet loving way: “Well, sweetie, my advice is to make friends with them. See you in the morning. I love you!”

Give these Love and Logic® tips a try, and join thousands of parents who enjoy peaceful evenings with their kids!


Jim Fay is president and cofounder of The Love and Logic® Institute in Golden, Colo., and coauthor of the book, Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless. For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 1-800-LUV-LOGIC or visit www.loveandlogic.com www.loveandlogic.com

Steps to Dealing with Lying Children

August 14, 2008 By: admin Category: Child Discipline, Children's Behavior

Are you facing problem with a lying child? I read an article about how to deal with lying children:

Seven Quick Steps to Dealing with a Lie

Discovering your child has lied can be quite distressing. Lies are often an additional layer of misbehavior (the child misbehaves, and then lies about it) and it’s this layer that often makes parents go ballistic. (“I’m furious that you stole my silver coin collection and bought candy with it, but the fact that you lied to me about it, too, well, I can’t stand it!”) If you’ve discovered a lie (“layered” or simple), try this:

  • Focus on the misbehavior, not the lie your child used to cover it up.
  • Breathe, run around the block, take 10, calm down. Take as long as you need to take in order to deal with the situation, not the lie, or the fact that your child wasn’t honest with you.
  • Talk with your child. Let her know that you aware of the truth. (Be as calm and level-voiced as possible.)
  • Talk about values, and let her know that you don’t value lying.
  • Give her the benefit of the doubt (she may be caught in a compound lie).
  • Once the situation she lied about is resolved, talk with her about the problems lying can cause. Knowledge (and your obvious disapproval) will help her avoid lying in the future.
  • If you don’t want a child who lies, don’t label her a liar. Kids tend to internalize the labels we give them.

Source: http://life.familyeducation.com/

How to Stop Whining in 4 Easy Steps

June 11, 2008 By: admin Category: Child Discipline, Children's Behavior, Toddler

Whining is a habit your child developed over time, and it will take a little time to break it. But, don’t despair; you can stop your child’s whining habit. Here’s how.

  1. Notice when she whines and choose your response. Changing the pattern of whining begins when you change how you respond to it.
  2. When you notice her whining, call her attention to it. Whining has become an unconscious habit by the time she reaches elementary school. She needs to learn to recognize it first. Some strategies you can try are:
    • Purposeful ignoring. You can even say “I’m ignoring you when you use your whiny voice. Try again in your normal voice and I’ll pay attention.”
    • Whine back. Use a bit of humor to cue her to notice her whining by showing what a whiny voice sounds like.
    • Stop her immediately when she whines and say, “Do you hear that you are whining? Tell me the same thing in your normal voice.”
  3. Tone of voice is the hallmark of whining, but the child’s reaction to being told ‘no’ is another component of whining. She needs to learn a new habit to replace whining, so help her learn the right approach to asking for what she wants. Asking politely is an important social skill that you can teach directly. To teach a child to accept ‘no’ for an answer can be more of a challenge. I like the approach from Common-Sense Parenting. Teach your child to:
    • Stop and look at Mom or Dad
    • Say “OK”
    • Stay calm. Do not argue or whine.
    • If you disagree, discuss it later, calmly and in private.
  4. Reinforce non-whining. Focus on the problem for 2-3 months, and thereafter if the habit creeps back. Notice when she asks politely and when she accepts ‘no’ for an answer without whining. Praise and reward her to reinforce the new learning. When she does whine, pause, look at her, and call attention to the whining if necessary. Help her think through what she should say and how to practice the new learning. Watch your own whining too, so that social learning doesn’t overcome your efforts to break your child’s whining habit.

Source: http://childparenting.about.com/

Hypertension in Children – Related to Poor Diet?

May 21, 2008 By: admin Category: Child Discipline, Children's Behavior, Children's Common Disease, Kid's Health

Hypertension in Children – Related to Poor Diet?
By Kristi Patrice Carter

Hypertension is chronic high blood pressure. In the past, this was a condition usually only seen in older adults. However, an increasing number of children are being diagnosed with hypertension. What is the cause of this alarming trend? According to the majority of leading researchers, the cause for this trend is diet.

Because more parents work outside of the home, more families consume prepared food on a daily basis. While these foods are easier, they are not better for you in terms of health. These foods can be filled with hidden calories, fat, sodium, and cholesterol. All of these contribute negatively to the health of a human heart. While it may take more time and effort, it may be in your child’s best interest to limits the amount of these foods your child consumes on a regular basis.

Children are also eating higher amounts of fast food than they have in the past. Decades ago, a trip to a fast food restaurant was an occasional treat for children. This is no longer the case. Many children eat at least five fast food meals a week, which has a significant impact on their health. These children are often obese, and recent studies indicate that these children develop chronic health conditions later on in life, such as diabetes and hypertension.

These foods are replacing healthy food choices like fresh fruits and vegetables in many homes. Instead of making processed snacks available to children, parents should encourage their children to snack on fruits and vegetables instead. Put healthy snacks on the shelves in the pantry and refrigerator that your children can reach. Place “sometimes” foods in places where your children cannot reach them. This may take some parental monitoring, but this change can be accomplished with a little bit of work and perseverance.

This problem is compounded by the fact that children spend more time in front of a television or computer screen than they have in the past. Instead of going outside to play and get exercise, children are becoming more sedentary. As a result, their health is suffering. Parents can help by sending their children outside to play every day and by limiting the amount of time children spend watching television or playing on the computer.

In conclusion, there are many steps you can take in order to maintain the health of your child. Your child may protest these changes at first, but you must stand firm. Your child will thank you later on in life for your efforts now.

Hypertension is a serious medical condition that affets children and adults. To earn more about hypertension and how to cure it with diet and exercise, please visit http://www.dashdiethypertension.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kristi_Patrice_Carter
http://EzineArticles.com/?Hypertension-in-Children—Related-to-Poor-Diet?&id=585398

10 Alternatives to Spanking

April 16, 2008 By: admin Category: Child Discipline, Children's Behavior, Parenting Tips, Toddler

Spanking isn’t necessarily something a parent consciously chooses. Most often, it happens when grownups lose their cool, get worked up or feel desperate. Dad may give little Tommy a whack because he’s already asked him three times to turn off the television. Or when four-year-old Johnny runs across the road, his mom may spank him and warn, “Don’t you ever, ever run into the street again.” All parents know how profoundly annoying it can be when their little one doesn’t listen to them. Fear has the same effect: “Oh my gosh, what if Johnny isn’t so lucky the next time he runs into the street?” The vast majority of parents have either felt the urge to spank, or have given their child a pat, whack or smack at one time or another.

In fact, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, spanking happens at least once a week in 25 percent of two-parent, middle-class families. Why do so many parents end up spanking their kids? You might assume it’s because spanking works. But, in fact, spanking works if, and only if, you look at the short-term. Three-year-old Lucy picked up her toys with lightening-fast speed after her mom gave her a swat on the behind. However, Lucy’s teachers need to keep a close eye on her in the playground because she tends to bully the younger kids. What does one have to do with the other?

A crucial 2002 study takes a look at how spanking affects kids. Psychologist Elizabeth Thompson Gershoff of Columbia University’s National Center for Children in Poverty analyzed 62 years of collected data, and found that the more often a child is spanked, the greater is the risk of childhood aggression and other antisocial behaviors such as lying, cheating and bullying. Children who are raised with spankings are less likely to learn right from wrong, and are more likely to misbehave behind their parent’s backs. One of the pro-spanking mothers in my practice conceded, “My son behaves if I spank him but I don’t know if he’s behaving out of fear or because he’s learning to distinguish right from wrong.” Clearly, spanking changes a child.

So, what’s the alternative? The following strategies are grounded in the belief that a child deserves to be treated with respect, even when he’s acting up.

Top 10 Ways to Handle Discipline Dilemmas

1. Be firm and be kind.
A child is more likely to hear what you’re saying if you use a neutral tone.

2. Pause.
There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’m too angry to deal with this now. We’ll talk about it later.”

3. Teach your kids.
Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave. “I don’t like it when you leave your skateboard in the front hall. Next time, please put it in the mudroom. How can I help you remember?”

4. Be positive.
Instead of saying, “How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?” Say, “Go brush your teeth and let me know when you’ve finished so I can tuck you in.”

5. Give explanations, not threats.
By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she’s told, you give her a reason to behave.

6. Refuse to get angry.
Instead of focusing on your child’s misbehavior and working yourself into a lather, think of each conflict as an opportunity to guide and direct your child.

7. Give incentives.
Inspire your child to cooperate with phrases like, “It’s time to go. Why don’t you go down the slide one more time and then let’s hustle. I want to get home in time to make cookies.”

8. Be flexible.
If your little one asks, “Can I just finish watching this show before we go?” be reasonable. If you have the time to spare, make room for your child’s requests. This is a great way for kids to learn about the art of negotiation.

9. Drop out of power struggles.
Nothing is as frustrating or less productive as having a showdown with your little one. Invite your child to cooperate by saying something like, “I’ve got a problem. I want you to wear a clean shirt and you insist on wearing the same old one every day. How can we solve this problem?” Your child is more likely to cooperate if he comes up with the solution.

10. Be smart.
Parents will often deal with problems in a set manner, even if their approach isn’t helping. If what you’re doing isn’t working, find a more effective way to handle the problem. Tip: It’s much easier to change your approach than it is to change your child. Ask yourself, “What can I do differently that will inspire a better reaction from my child?”

TIP: Remember these three important rules about punishment:

  • Don’t assign a punishment when you’re angry
  • Don’t use punishment as revenge.
  • A more severe punishment is not necessarily a better one

Source: http://parenting.ivillage.com


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