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Getting stressed handling your mischievous children? Thinking to practice time-out? I found a good article about time-out guidelines..let’s read it on…

Time-out Guidelines for Parents
Patrick C. Friman, Ph.D.
Girls and Boys Town

What is time-out?
Time-out is a way of disciplining your child for misbehavior without raising your hand or your voice. Time-out involves removing your child from the good stuff in life, for a small amount of time, immediately following misbehavior. Time-out for children is similar to penalties used for hockey players. When a hockey player has misbehaved on the ice, he is required to go to the penalty area for two minutes. The referee does not scream at, threaten, or hit the player. He merely blows the whistle and points to the penalty area. During the penalty time, the player is not allowed to play, only watch. Time-out bothers hockey players because they would rather play hockey than watch. Keep this hockey comparison in mind when using time-out for your child. Children usually do not like time-out because they would rather play than watch other kids play. So when you use time-out in response to a misbehavior, remove your child from whatever he or she is doing and have him or her sit down.

Where should the time-out area be located?
You do not have to use the same location each time. Just make sure the location is convenient for you. For example, using a downstairs chair is inconvenient when the problem behavior occurs upstairs. An adult-sized chair works best, but a step, footstool, bench, or couch will also work. Make sure the area is well-lit and free from all dangerous objects. Also make sure your child cannot watch TV or play with toys.

How long should time-out last?
The upper limit should be one quiet minute for every year your child has been alive. So if you have a 2-year-old, aim for two quiet minutes. Keep in mind, children do not like time-out, and they can be very public with their opinion. So it may take some time to get those two minutes. This is especially true in the beginning when children do not know the rules and still cannot believe you are doing this to them. For some reason, the calmer you remain, the more upset they are likely to become. This is all part of the process. Discipline works best when you administer it calmly.

So, do not begin the time until your child is calm and quiet. If your child is crying or throwing a tantrum, it does not count toward the required time. If you start the time because your child is quiet but he or she starts to cry or tantrum, wait until your child is quiet again and then start the time over. Do not let your child leave time-out unless he or she is calm; your child must remain seated and be quiet to get out of time-out. Some programs suggest using timers. Timers can be helpful but are not necessary. If you use one, remember the timer is to remind parents that time-out is over, not children.

What counts as quiet time?
Generally, quiet time occurs when your child is not angry or upset, and is not yelling or crying. You must decide when your child is calm and quiet. Some children get perfectly still and quiet while in they’re in time-out. Other children find it hard to sit still and not talk. Fidgeting and “happy talk” should usually count as being calm and quiet. For example, if your son sings or talks softly to himself, that counts as quiet time. Some children do what we call “dieseling,” which is the quiet sniffling that usually follows a tantrum. Since a “dieseling” child is usually trying to stop crying but cannot find the off switch, this also should be counted as quiet time.

What if the child leaves the chair before time is up?
Say nothing! Calmly (and physically) return your child to the chair. For children who are 2 to 4 years old, unscheduled departures from the chair are a chronic problem early in the time-out process. Stay calm and keep returning the child to the chair. If you tire or become angry, invite your spouse (or any adult who is nearby) to assist you as a tag-team partner. If you are alone and become overly tired or angry, retreat with honor. But when help arrives or when your strength returns, set the stage for another time-out.

What if my child misbehaves in the chair?
Say nothing and ignore everything that is not dangerous to child, yourself, and the furniture. I repeat: Say nothing! What do I mean by nothing? I mean not anything, the absence of something, the empty set, the amount of money you have when you have spent it all, the result of two minus two or what zero equals. I mean nothing. Most of your child’s behavior in the chair is an attempt to get you to react and say something, anything. So expect the unexpected, especially if you are a nagger, screamer, explainer, warner, reasoner, or just a talker. And I mean the unexpected. They may spit up, wet, blow their nose on their clothes (you may be tempted to say “Yecch” but…do not), strip, throw things, make unkind comments about your parenting skills, or simply say they do not love you anymore. Do not worry. They will love you again when their time is up, believe me.

When should I use time-out?
When you first start, use it for only one or two problem behaviors. After your child has learned to “do” time-out, you can expand the list of problem behaviors. In general, problem behaviors fall into three categories: 1) anything dangerous to self or others; 2) defiance and/or noncompliance; and 3) obnoxious or bothersome behavior. Use time-out for “1” and “2” and ignore anything in category “3.” If you cannot ignore something, move it into category “2” by issuing a command (e.g., “Take the goldfish out of the toilet.”). Then if the child does not comply, you can use time-out for noncompliance. Be sure to use time-out as consistently as possible. For example, try to place your child in time-out each time a targeted behavior occurs. I realize you cannot be 100 percent consistent because it is in our nature to adapt. But be as consistent as you can.

In general, immediately following a problem behavior, tell your child what he or she did and take him or her to time-out. (With older children, send them to time-out.) For example, you might say, “No hitting. Go to timeout.” Say this calmly and only once. Do not reason or give long explanations to your child. If your child does not go willingly, take him or her to time-out, using as little force as needed. For example, hold your daughter gently by the hand or wrist and walk to the time-out area. Or, carry her facing away from you (so that she does not confuse a hug and a trip to time-out). As I suggested earlier, avoid giving your child a lot of attention while he or she is being put in time-out. Do not argue with, threaten, or spank your child. And what should you say? Hint: Starts with “No”’ and ends with “thing.” Answer: Say nothing!

What do I do when time is up?
When the time-out period is over, ask your child, “Are you ready to get up?” Your child must answer yes in some way (or nod yes) before you give permission for him or her to get up. Do not talk about why the child went into time-out, how the child behaved while in time-out, or how you want your child to behave in the future. In other words, do not nag. If your child says “No,” answers in an angry tone of voice, or will not answer all, start time-out over again. If your child chooses to stay in the chair, fine. It is hard to cause real trouble in time-out.

What do I do when my child leaves the chair?
If you placed your child in time-out for not doing what you told him or her to do, repeat the instruction. This will help teach your child you mean business. It also gives your child a chance to behave in a way that is good for business. If he or she still does not obey the instruction, then place him or her in time-out again. In addition, add in a few other easy-to-follow, one-step commands. If he or she does them, praise the performance. If not, back to time-out. Generally, use this opportunity to train your child to follow your instructions when those instructions are delivered in a normal tone of voice without being repeated.

The general rule for ending time-out is to praise a good behavior. Once time-out is over, reward your child for the kinds of behaviors you want him or her to use. Catch them being good.

Should I explain the rules of time-out to my child?
Before using time-out, you should explain the rules to your child once. At a time when your child is not misbehaving, explain what time-out is (simply), which problem behaviors time-out will be used for, and how long time-out will last. Practice using time-out with your child before using the procedure. While practicing, remind your child you are “pretending” this time. They will still go “ballistic” when you do your first real time-outs, but you will be reassured that you have done your part to explain the fine print.

1. Choose time-out areas.
2. Explain time-out.
3. Use time-out every time the problem behaviors occur.
4. Be specific and brief when you explain why your child must go to time-out.
5. Do not talk to or look at your child during time-out.
6. If your child gets up from the chair, return him or her to the chair with no talking.
7. Your child must be calm and quiet to leave time-out once time is up.
8. Your child must answer yes politely when you ask, “Would you like to get up?”
9. If you wanted your child to follow an instruction, give him or her another chance after time-out is over. And, in general, deliver a few other easy-to-follow commands so your child clearly learns who is in charge and who is not.
10. Catch them being good.

Source: http://www.parenting.org

Are you having difficulties raising your toddler? It is understood that raising a toddler is not an easy task. Without patience, you might turn out to be a monster parent. But do you know that anyone who has been through the stage of parenting a toddler usually looks back and thinks that wasn’t so bad. In fact, many people miss those years once they are over.

That is very sad. Why not enjoy the toddler years when they are happening? Parenting toddlers might be a tough time for parents especially for those who can’t control their anger. Here are 3 tips to help you enjoy the toddler years.

First, relax and have fun along with your child. Clear some responsibilities from your schedule so you don’t feel like you have no time to spend with your toddler. There is no reason to feel guilty for spending a few hours playing with Duplo blocks or building a wooden train track. So during these wonderful years spend less time at social events and meetings and more time at home. You will not regret it.

Second, this is a very important age when a child begins to form the character they will have for the rest of their lives. This is the time to lay a foundation of good character, respect for others, and knowing right from wrong. You need to model patience, respect, and truthfulness. When your child gets angry that something didn’t work out right, help them work through the anger. That can be hard for parents who are impatient themselves. But if you teach your child self control now they will be better prepared for the teen years and adulthood. If you need to, get a book that deals with this problem. I highly recommend The Heart Of Anger.

Discipline is a difficult topic, but a parent who disciplines a toddler in love, with patience, will have much less need to discipline the child when he or she is older. It is much easier to deal with disobedience when the child is three than when he is 13.

However, make sure it is truly disobedience and not just childishness. There is a big difference. The child who is willfully being defiant and going against his parent’s wishes is not the same as the child who accidentally spills his milk or who starts crying because she didn’t get enough sleep the night before. So be sure to take these things into consideration.

Third, if you are at home with a toddler (or two) all day and feel like you need a break, call in some help. Whether you hire a neighbor girl to watch your children a few hours each week or have your mother or grandmother take the children for a while, give yourself a break. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Just about everyone has to ask someone to help out during these years.

Giving yourself a few hours off each week will make you a better parent, too. You will find that it gives you more energy, more patience, and a better perspective in being a mother. Your children will be more precious to you after you have had a few hours to yourself.

Having a toddler in the house can be a wonderful experience. Toddlers are so full of wonder and everything is an adventure to them. They think you are terrific and love to spend hours playing with you as you build with blocks or play games or whatever else they want to do.

Take advantage of this time and be available. Relax, enjoy your child, and build many memories to think back on when your child is older, or even when he has moved out on his own.

Whining is a normal habit among children. Children whine for a variety of reasons, such as to wear you down, to make you feel guilty, for reassurance and out of pure habit. Try out the seven steps below that you can take to “Stop the Whining!” and see whether they work for you.

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In today’s fast-paced stressed life, even children need to take a little time off with some form of relaxation. However, instead of raising a couch potato who listens to MP3s, plays video games, surfs the Internet or just watches TV, encouraging a child to take up a constructive alternative, such as, a hobby could open a whole new dimension to his life. Parents should support their child in discovering the rewards of having a hobby.

What is a Hobby?
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Do you have moments when being a ‘nice’ parent just seems impossible? For example, your toddler is still running around the house, refusing to sleep and it’s already 11 pm. Or when you’re tired and they decide to reward you with more whining and a temper tantrum? And how about times when you are late and they still prefer to move at a snail’s pace?’Monster Parent’ moments are when your anger gets the better of you. You scream and yell, maybe even hit or hurl abusive words at your children. You look at your children with daggers coming out of your eyes and your idea of discipline at that moment is to inflict pain and hurt.

It is probably safe to say that having occasional ‘Monster Parent’ moments are quite common among parents. After all, we are only humans and we have good days and bad days. But beware that these occasional ‘Monster Parent’ moments do not become too frequent. Do not end up becoming an abusive parent.

So, what can you do to avoid becoming a ‘Monster Parent’?

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Bedwetting is a common ordeal faced by parents. Parents often feel angry and frustrated about their child’s bedwetting condition. But remember, children do not wet the bed on purpose, so it is important to support your child and maintain a positive attitude.

Bedwetting can be broken into two types. Primary nocturnal incontinence is when a child has not been fully toilet trained. Secondary nocturnal incontinence is when a child has achieved full bladder control and then begins wetting the bed.

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Don’t begin training until your child shows signs that he/she is ready. Every child is different. Most are ready for training between 2 years and 2+ years (Some as young as 18 months or as old as 3 years).

Start at a time when you can spend a lot of time with your child, when your child seems complacent, happy and there are no major distractions or traumatic events in his/her life (new sibling, divorce, moving, new caretaker etc.).

Common signs of toilet training readiness:

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If you are concerned about your toddler’s eating habits, don’t worry you’re not alone. There are many other moms out there who have experienced or are going through the same thing. Periods of picky eating or not eating at all is quite common when it comes to toddlers.

Here are a few tips to help you get through these times:

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It is safe to say that parenting is the toughest, but most rewarding job. You have the task of molding a young life so that a child may grow and become a parent one day as well. However, in the process of nurturing there will be obstacles. Your child may ask you something you do not want to answer or do not know how to answer. Children have inquisitive minds and the question may be on any topic imaginable from sex to terrorism to how to pick a prom dress. Then you, the parent, now ponder – How do I answer my child’s difficult questions?

While there is no correct answer, here are a few tips that should lead you in the right direction.

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Why it happens

Until he’s 3 or 4, your child isn’t really able to distinguish between reality and fantasy. What that means is that it’s impossible for your 1- or 2-year-old to grasp the concepts of lying and telling the truth. His fibs may stem from:

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