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Cookbook author and food god Craig Claiborne opined, “I cannot estimate how many meals are spoiled by fractious, overtired children aching to be home, and their parents are doing no one a favor by permitting such disruptive behavior.” I’d guess most folks agree with Mr. Claiborne, judging by the stink eye many waiters and fellow diners show parents eating with kids. It’s a shame, really. True, a restaurant is not a playground, but it’s not a church either. Some parents won’t go near a restaurant with their children in tow, for fear of being ostracized. It’s not like this in many other countries, where kids are welcomed to the table and where, not by accident, the food culture is strong. A few tips:

1.New parents, listen up: When your baby can’t talk or walk, put him or her in a sling and get thee to a restaurant as often as you wish. People will ooh and aah at your bravery–as well as at the baby.

2.Choose your restaurant wisely. Go on the early side and avoid weekends. Brunch was invented for families–alcohol for mom and dad, and pancakes with smiley faces for kids. Many top-notch places now have kids’ menus that go beyond the nugget, grilled cheese, and buttered-pasta triple threat.

31 of Bon Appétit’s Most Delicious Holiday Desserts

3.Introduce your kids to new flavors. Asian restaurants, especially Vietnamese, Chinese, and Thai ones, are often casual, full of big tables of families, and loud. Small-plate restaurants, like Spanish tapas places, allow easy sharing (and if things go south quickly, you can make an exit without having to cancel your entrée order).

4.Adults get toys (cell phones, PDAs) to play with at the table, so kids should, too–but keep handheld video games on mute.

5.Bring a small snack to tide your little one over immediately after you sit down. But if said snack ends up all over the floor, it’s your responsibility to clean it up–not the waitstaff’s.

Siblings can be the best of friends, and the worst of enemies, all within the same hour. Whether it stems from sibling rivalry, a stolen toy, or just a silly taunt, conflicts are bound to happen. If your children seem to be constantly bickering, take solace in the fact that this is common, and containable. From understanding the causes of conflicts to hints on coping with them, we’ve got great tips just waiting for you!

Causes of Sibling Conflicts

Sibling conflicts are a bit like the weather – we have no control over them, but we have to deal with the results anyway. As parents, it can sometimes seem that whenever we turn our backs the little ones are making each other cry. This may be the case, but remember that there are many reasons for it and you can’t be expected to control them all!

• Children become bored easily, and fighting gives them something to do.
• When they are hungry or tired, more things irritate children that lead them to conflict.
• Siblings engage in competition and may create conflict if they feel that they are losing, whether at a game, a race, or for your attention.
• Older siblings may not understand that younger siblings are not as mature as they are, and agitation and conflict can result.
• Every child is self-centred. This is a natural state, and it means that children can only see the world from their point of view. Until they develop the ability to see the world from another angle, this will result in many perceived slights and rule out any ability to understand why others may act the way they do.
• Children, like adults, will hold grudges. Often times new conflicts will result that seem insignificant, but are magnified by an old grudge.

Steps to Avoid Sibling Conflicts

Though a certain amount of sibling conflict will take place no matter what, there are steps parents can take to avoid frequent fighting. Eliminating sibling rivalry will help stop many sources of conflict.

• Give each of your children special time to have the undivided attention of their parents.
• Frequently show love and affection, with hugs and kisses, to each of your children.
• Never compare your children’s abilities, development or preferences.
• Avoid labelling your children, such as “the smart one” or “the patient one.”
• Encourage your children to develop their own hobbies that are distinct from their siblings’.

Mediating and Resolving Sibling Conflicts

Even despite our best efforts, sibling conflicts are bound to occur. When they do, there are several ways that parents can help mediate and resolve them in a timely manner.

• Discuss conflicts with your children when you are all calm. Refer to hypothetical conflicts that do not involve your children, and explain your feelings towards the resolution of conflictions through violence or force.
• Explain your rules clearly and so that every child understands. It is unfair to hold children accountable for breaking rules that they were never told about.
• Be a role model. Show your children how you expect them to resolve conflicts through your own behaviour.
• Encourage manners among your children.
• Remind children that “fair” is not always necessarily “equal.” For example, it is fair that older children are allowed to stay up later than their younger siblings.
• Teach your children the concept of compromise, and expect them to compromise without you acting as a judge.
• Help your child recognize their emotions. If they are able to verbalize that they are angry or sad, they will be able to discuss conflicts and think of compromises much more easily.
• If your children are quarrelling and it looks as though it will become violent, separate them immediately.
• When conflict does occur, do not inquire as to which child started it. Hold each child responsible for breaking your rules.

Remember, in a perfect world sibling conflicts would never rear their ugly heads. Here in the real world, sibling conflicts are common, and taking steps to avoid them and resolve them are much more important than simply ignoring them.

Source: http://www.growingkids.co.uk

SCHOOL SUCCESS STARTS EARLY
Expert says getting kids to relate to their teachers is the best strategy

By Dr. Charles Fay

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In my work with kids and teachers over the years, I’ve witnessed the many benefits of healthy student–teacher relationships. Establishing a connection between your child and his or her teachers is key to success in school and throughout life.

Regardless of a child’s scholastic abilities, parents can show him or her how to get along with teachers. Before your kids start school, give them a powerful advantage over other children by teaching them the following practical, easy–to–learn skills:

Tip 1: Smile and say “hello” to your teacher everyday.

Kids who greet their teachers with a smile and a warm “hello” every morning usually have fewer problems with their teachers throughout the day. It is important, however, for parents to help their kids understand it is necessary to not overdo it. Try practicing with your child.

Tip 2: Pay attention to your teacher. While your teacher is talking, look him or her in the eyes, smile, and nod.

Love and Logic parents know that helping their child relate to teachers will increase the child’s interest in what is being taught. One parent I know had a daughter who experienced difficulty paying attention in class. After the parent suggested looking at the teacher, smiling, and nodding, she became more engaged in her learning and was better prepared to ask questions about the lessons.

Teachers enjoy working with children who are interested in learning. Students who are attentive and “encourage” their teachers during the lesson have an advantage over those who do not. In addition, these children will be more comfortable approaching a teacher with any concerns they may have.

Tip 3: Raise your hand periodically to ask a question about the lesson.

A child who asks questions shows the teacher he or she is paying attention to the lesson being taught.

Tip 4: Say “please” and “thank you.”

It is important for parents to model good manners. At the Love and Logic Institute, we’ve found that children learn much more from our actions than from our words. What we say in front of our kids is more important than what we say to them. For example, when your child is nearby, you might say to your spouse, “I sure do appreciate all of your help today around the house. Thank you so much.”

Kids who use these skills in school will have an advantage over kids who do not. These skills also will carry over to the workforce, which will give children an advantage over others throughout their professional lives.

One student I know suffered from significant learning problems. Many people thought he would not be successful in his professional life. Much to their surprise, however, he went on to have a wonderful career and did better than kids who were much “brighter,” because his parents taught and reinforced good relationship skills over and over again.

Don’t wait! Start using these Love and Logic techniques and join the thousands of parents who are raising successful, responsible kids.

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Dr. Charles Fay is a nationally known speaker, parent, and school psychologist with The Love and Logic Institute in Golden, Colo. His book Love and Logic Magic When Kids Leave You Speechless provides a host of helpful tips for teaching values, as well as handling other perplexing parenting issues. For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 1-800-LUV-LOGIC or visit www.loveandlogic.com

I read a good article from babycenter.com and want to share it here:

Simple ways to make your child feel special

With our busy lives full of errands, work, appointments, and social events, it can sometimes feel like we need to make grand gestures to let our kids know they’re loved and special.

But what makes your children feel special might surprise you. You don’t need to spend $10,000 on a birthday party or a deluxe trip to Disneyland. You don’t need to buy a Barbie Mustang or a tree house or let them have ice cream every night.

In fact, making your child feel special is very simple, according to Leigh Leverrier, a family life coach in the Washington, D.C., area, who says, “Children feel special when they are respected, noticed, listened to, and heard.”

This can be as straightforward as hearing “what your child says and mirroring back what you hear to acknowledge his or her thoughts,” Leverrier adds.

Doris Jeanette, a licensed psychologist in Philadelphia, says: “It’s not the activities, but the energy behind the activities that makes a child feel loved.”

In other words, making your child feel special is as simple as paying attention. Cuddling, play wrestling, and bragging about your kid works, too.

Here are some simple, inexpensive (or free!), and ultimately very meaningful ways to make your child feel special.

• Create little morning moments

“The morning sets the tone,” says Bob Lancer, author of Parenting With Love, Without Anger or Stress. “If there’s strife, rushing, or power struggles in the morning, you have a child who feels less important than other elements of the parent’s agenda.”

Instead of giving in to morning impatience, Vanessa Pizzinato of Ontario, Canada, takes a few minutes with her 5-year-old son every morning to gently walk her fingers over his legs and feet to wake him up. If that doesn’t work, then she takes his feet, puts one up to her ear and the other in front of her mouth, and talks to his tummy and head “to find out when they think he will wake up.”

Cara Mirabella, who runs TheHouseholdHelper.com, spends a little quality time each morning with her 2-year-old son by having coffee together. (His “coffee” is milk.) “We watch Sesame Street, the two of us cuddling on the couch, enjoying our coffee,” she says.

After taking five minutes for yourself “to enjoy the quiet of the morning before the stampede begins,” says Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand in Hand Parenting, spend ten minutes with your child before anybody has to rush anywhere.

“First thing in the morning can be a wonderfully effective time to connect with children, especially when they’re going to school and won’t get to see you all day,” she says.

The other 8 ways are:

• Snuggle and cuddle
• Make up special stories
• Ask for help
• Break the rules
• Have fun at bedtime
• Get silly
• Use your words
• And just pay attention to the little things

You can read full post here.

Parents can be very good teachers as well apart from being very good guides and mentors. There are a number of good issues and topics that you can teach your child as a responsible parent. However, nothing could be as important as teaching your child good mannerisms and an exemplary sense of responsibility. Teaching responsibly to your kid means assisting to learn and understand the ways and methods by which your kid can interact with friends and strangers. It also involves displaying self respect and empathy towards others.

Mind you no kid in this world comes studded or equipped with very good behavior and mannerisms. Nor do any child takes his or her birth preprogrammed with character traits like willingness to share and distribute, respect the feelings of others, show respect towards authority and empathize with impoverished children. It is possible to teach considerate behavior and responsible mannerisms when your child is still young and tender; this will help your child to completely develop the behavior when she or he grows up and becomes adult.

The first lesson begins at your home and you are also the first teacher who is trying to transform your kid into a responsible citizen. Primary lessons start in the cozy ambience of your home and the first basic lesson is setting a good example on a daily and consistent basis. As a parent, you can perform this by:

• Exhibit a high level of mature behavior in how you deal with people, both close and strangers

• Exhibit a very high level of tolerance in reacting to a stressful and critical situation

• Show your kids how you can manage people with your ultra people friendly behavior, in what ways can you manage divergent opinions and handle conflicts and disagreements

You can exhibit a positive role by being responsible to yourself! When you are responsible and disciplined, it becomes very easy for you to help your kids learn how to think better, feel good and act in manner that is normal and responsible. Good behavior also involves pursuing a habit of considering other’s feelings and opinions. Responsibility and good mannerisms also include other character traits like accountability, fairness, compassion, integrity, honesty, self respect, courage and confession.

Responsible behavior is also a cultivated habit that evolves gradually over time. It is a result of your outlook in daily life and composed daily habits. You may wish to integrate and gel several beneficial aspects of responsible behavior in your kid’s daily life. The main goal of the program should focus on teaching and inculcating the good habit of respect and compassion (empathy) towards others, including strangers. Here are some of the most basic traits that should form foundation stones of the program:

• Honesty: Being truthful and realistic to our mind and conscience will help us become responsible and dedicated to our life.

• Courage: If your child is courageous and truthful, he or she can be extremely responsible in the future. This trait will help in taking good decisions based upon truth and evidence, not upon ulterior motives.

• Self Control and Self Discipline: These positive indicators will help your kid to act responsibly in preventing bad and inappropriate behavior. He or she will also learn to control anger and impatience.

• Self Respect and Pride: When your child is honest, truthful, and courageous and honest, she or he can start to respect themselves before respecting others. These are possibly the most cherished traits in your kids.

Compassion, kindness, empathy and respect towards others are the most desirable characters in your kid. These traits are not only necessary in life to perform better socially; your kid also needs them to empower to perform better both in personal and professional spheres. Gelled with establishing an excellent example and getting actively involved in your kid’s development and encouragement of social skills, spending quality time with kids and teach them about proper, right, correct and responsible behavior are some of the corrective actions that you can take as a parent, while streamlining your kid towards the road to responsibility.

More often, teaching your kid to be responsible is a long journey and a tedious process fraught with uncertainties and imponderables. As a parent, what you need from your side is 100% commitment and perseverance and the right and fitting ambience in your home. It is also a continuous process where both you and your kids are the active participants in the learning cycle.

Source: http://www.brainy-child.com/

 

Bedwetting is a common ordeal faced by parents. Parents often feel angry and frustrated about their child’s bedwetting condition. But remember, children do not wet the bed on purpose, so it is important to support your child and maintain a positive attitude.

Bedwetting can be broken into two types. Primary nocturnal incontinence is when a child has not been fully toilet trained. Secondary nocturnal incontinence is when a child has achieved full bladder control and then begins wetting the bed.

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It is safe to say that parenting is the toughest, but most rewarding job. You have the task of molding a young life so that a child may grow and become a parent one day as well. However, in the process of nurturing there will be obstacles. Your child may ask you something you do not want to answer or do not know how to answer. Children have inquisitive minds and the question may be on any topic imaginable from sex to terrorism to how to pick a prom dress. Then you, the parent, now ponder – How do I answer my child’s difficult questions?

While there is no correct answer, here are a few tips that should lead you in the right direction.

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