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I read a good article from babycenter.com and want to share it here:

Simple ways to make your child feel special

With our busy lives full of errands, work, appointments, and social events, it can sometimes feel like we need to make grand gestures to let our kids know they’re loved and special.

But what makes your children feel special might surprise you. You don’t need to spend $10,000 on a birthday party or a deluxe trip to Disneyland. You don’t need to buy a Barbie Mustang or a tree house or let them have ice cream every night.

In fact, making your child feel special is very simple, according to Leigh Leverrier, a family life coach in the Washington, D.C., area, who says, “Children feel special when they are respected, noticed, listened to, and heard.”

This can be as straightforward as hearing “what your child says and mirroring back what you hear to acknowledge his or her thoughts,” Leverrier adds.

Doris Jeanette, a licensed psychologist in Philadelphia, says: “It’s not the activities, but the energy behind the activities that makes a child feel loved.”

In other words, making your child feel special is as simple as paying attention. Cuddling, play wrestling, and bragging about your kid works, too.

Here are some simple, inexpensive (or free!), and ultimately very meaningful ways to make your child feel special.

• Create little morning moments

“The morning sets the tone,” says Bob Lancer, author of Parenting With Love, Without Anger or Stress. “If there’s strife, rushing, or power struggles in the morning, you have a child who feels less important than other elements of the parent’s agenda.”

Instead of giving in to morning impatience, Vanessa Pizzinato of Ontario, Canada, takes a few minutes with her 5-year-old son every morning to gently walk her fingers over his legs and feet to wake him up. If that doesn’t work, then she takes his feet, puts one up to her ear and the other in front of her mouth, and talks to his tummy and head “to find out when they think he will wake up.”

Cara Mirabella, who runs TheHouseholdHelper.com, spends a little quality time each morning with her 2-year-old son by having coffee together. (His “coffee” is milk.) “We watch Sesame Street, the two of us cuddling on the couch, enjoying our coffee,” she says.

After taking five minutes for yourself “to enjoy the quiet of the morning before the stampede begins,” says Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand in Hand Parenting, spend ten minutes with your child before anybody has to rush anywhere.

“First thing in the morning can be a wonderfully effective time to connect with children, especially when they’re going to school and won’t get to see you all day,” she says.

The other 8 ways are:

• Snuggle and cuddle
• Make up special stories
• Ask for help
• Break the rules
• Have fun at bedtime
• Get silly
• Use your words
• And just pay attention to the little things

You can read full post here.

Parents can be very good teachers as well apart from being very good guides and mentors. There are a number of good issues and topics that you can teach your child as a responsible parent. However, nothing could be as important as teaching your child good mannerisms and an exemplary sense of responsibility. Teaching responsibly to your kid means assisting to learn and understand the ways and methods by which your kid can interact with friends and strangers. It also involves displaying self respect and empathy towards others.

Mind you no kid in this world comes studded or equipped with very good behavior and mannerisms. Nor do any child takes his or her birth preprogrammed with character traits like willingness to share and distribute, respect the feelings of others, show respect towards authority and empathize with impoverished children. It is possible to teach considerate behavior and responsible mannerisms when your child is still young and tender; this will help your child to completely develop the behavior when she or he grows up and becomes adult.

The first lesson begins at your home and you are also the first teacher who is trying to transform your kid into a responsible citizen. Primary lessons start in the cozy ambience of your home and the first basic lesson is setting a good example on a daily and consistent basis. As a parent, you can perform this by:

• Exhibit a high level of mature behavior in how you deal with people, both close and strangers

• Exhibit a very high level of tolerance in reacting to a stressful and critical situation

• Show your kids how you can manage people with your ultra people friendly behavior, in what ways can you manage divergent opinions and handle conflicts and disagreements

You can exhibit a positive role by being responsible to yourself! When you are responsible and disciplined, it becomes very easy for you to help your kids learn how to think better, feel good and act in manner that is normal and responsible. Good behavior also involves pursuing a habit of considering other’s feelings and opinions. Responsibility and good mannerisms also include other character traits like accountability, fairness, compassion, integrity, honesty, self respect, courage and confession.

Responsible behavior is also a cultivated habit that evolves gradually over time. It is a result of your outlook in daily life and composed daily habits. You may wish to integrate and gel several beneficial aspects of responsible behavior in your kid’s daily life. The main goal of the program should focus on teaching and inculcating the good habit of respect and compassion (empathy) towards others, including strangers. Here are some of the most basic traits that should form foundation stones of the program:

• Honesty: Being truthful and realistic to our mind and conscience will help us become responsible and dedicated to our life.

• Courage: If your child is courageous and truthful, he or she can be extremely responsible in the future. This trait will help in taking good decisions based upon truth and evidence, not upon ulterior motives.

• Self Control and Self Discipline: These positive indicators will help your kid to act responsibly in preventing bad and inappropriate behavior. He or she will also learn to control anger and impatience.

• Self Respect and Pride: When your child is honest, truthful, and courageous and honest, she or he can start to respect themselves before respecting others. These are possibly the most cherished traits in your kids.

Compassion, kindness, empathy and respect towards others are the most desirable characters in your kid. These traits are not only necessary in life to perform better socially; your kid also needs them to empower to perform better both in personal and professional spheres. Gelled with establishing an excellent example and getting actively involved in your kid’s development and encouragement of social skills, spending quality time with kids and teach them about proper, right, correct and responsible behavior are some of the corrective actions that you can take as a parent, while streamlining your kid towards the road to responsibility.

More often, teaching your kid to be responsible is a long journey and a tedious process fraught with uncertainties and imponderables. As a parent, what you need from your side is 100% commitment and perseverance and the right and fitting ambience in your home. It is also a continuous process where both you and your kids are the active participants in the learning cycle.

Source: http://www.brainy-child.com/

Spanking isn’t necessarily something a parent consciously chooses. Most often, it happens when grownups lose their cool, get worked up or feel desperate. Dad may give little Tommy a whack because he’s already asked him three times to turn off the television. Or when four-year-old Johnny runs across the road, his mom may spank him and warn, “Don’t you ever, ever run into the street again.” All parents know how profoundly annoying it can be when their little one doesn’t listen to them. Fear has the same effect: “Oh my gosh, what if Johnny isn’t so lucky the next time he runs into the street?” The vast majority of parents have either felt the urge to spank, or have given their child a pat, whack or smack at one time or another.

In fact, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, spanking happens at least once a week in 25 percent of two-parent, middle-class families. Why do so many parents end up spanking their kids? You might assume it’s because spanking works. But, in fact, spanking works if, and only if, you look at the short-term. Three-year-old Lucy picked up her toys with lightening-fast speed after her mom gave her a swat on the behind. However, Lucy’s teachers need to keep a close eye on her in the playground because she tends to bully the younger kids. What does one have to do with the other?

A crucial 2002 study takes a look at how spanking affects kids. Psychologist Elizabeth Thompson Gershoff of Columbia University’s National Center for Children in Poverty analyzed 62 years of collected data, and found that the more often a child is spanked, the greater is the risk of childhood aggression and other antisocial behaviors such as lying, cheating and bullying. Children who are raised with spankings are less likely to learn right from wrong, and are more likely to misbehave behind their parent’s backs. One of the pro-spanking mothers in my practice conceded, “My son behaves if I spank him– but I don’t know if he’s behaving out of fear or because he’s learning to distinguish right from wrong.” Clearly, spanking changes a child.

So, what’s the alternative? The following strategies are grounded in the belief that a child deserves to be treated with respect, even when he’s acting up.

Top 10 Ways to Handle Discipline Dilemmas

1. Be firm and be kind.
A child is more likely to hear what you’re saying if you use a neutral tone.

2. Pause.
There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’m too angry to deal with this now. We’ll talk about it later.”

3. Teach your kids.
Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave. “I don’t like it when you leave your skateboard in the front hall. Next time, please put it in the mudroom. How can I help you remember?”

4. Be positive.
Instead of saying, “How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?” Say, “Go brush your teeth and let me know when you’ve finished so I can tuck you in.”

5. Give explanations, not threats.
By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she’s told, you give her a reason to behave.

6. Refuse to get angry.
Instead of focusing on your child’s misbehavior and working yourself into a lather, think of each conflict as an opportunity to guide and direct your child.

7. Give incentives.
Inspire your child to cooperate with phrases like, “It’s time to go. Why don’t you go down the slide one more time and then let’s hustle. I want to get home in time to make cookies.”

8. Be flexible.
If your little one asks, “Can I just finish watching this show before we go?” be reasonable. If you have the time to spare, make room for your child’s requests. This is a great way for kids to learn about the art of negotiation.

9. Drop out of power struggles.
Nothing is as frustrating or less productive as having a showdown with your little one. Invite your child to cooperate by saying something like, “I’ve got a problem. I want you to wear a clean shirt and you insist on wearing the same old one every day. How can we solve this problem?” Your child is more likely to cooperate if he comes up with the solution.

10. Be smart.
Parents will often deal with problems in a set manner, even if their approach isn’t helping. If what you’re doing isn’t working, find a more effective way to handle the problem. Tip: It’s much easier to change your approach than it is to change your child. Ask yourself, “What can I do differently that will inspire a better reaction from my child?”

TIP: Remember these three important rules about punishment:

• Don’t assign a punishment when you’re angry
• Don’t use punishment as revenge.
• A more severe punishment is not necessarily a better one

Source: http://parenting.ivillage.com